Depression\Giving Up: Difference between revisions

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Being aware of how my systems can be triggered in this world where humans live door to door, trillions of programs running in a square inch, I am considering myself going into the very wilderness and rest there in order to effectively live stopping.  
Being aware of how my systems can be triggered in this world where humans live door to door, trillions of programs running in a square inch, I am considering myself going into the very wilderness and rest there in order to effectively live stopping.  


I´ve realized in the past few weeks that I´m moving my body more and more to what our systems call "nature".  
I've realized in the past few weeks that I'm moving my body more and more to what our systems call "nature".  
Hanging around on the balcony, outside of four walls, cycling to the lake ~ 2 miles from here etc..  
Hanging around on the balcony, outside of four walls, cycling to the lake 2 miles from here, etc.


My process kind of "speeds up" everytime I move my body out of "familiar" systems.  
My process kind of "speeds up" everytime I move my body out of "familiar" systems.  


So, how about going into the wilderness to stop?
So, how about going into the wilderness to stop?


=====Perspective=====
=====Perspective=====


do not accept or allow your environment currently to determine you and your process, because at the moment your starting point is in separation of 'wanting to go into the wilderness' - to 'only stop there' and assist and support you in your process 'there' = separation.  
Do not accept or allow your environment currently to determine you and your process, because at the moment your starting point is in separation of 'wanting to go into the wilderness' - to 'only stop there' and assist and support you in your process 'there' = separation.  


No matter the environment, you're still with you here - therefore, I'd suggest considering the reason why 'the wilderness', because in your mind exist a perception that it'll be 'easier' / 'simpler' 'there' - not realising that your process isn't determined according to 'where you are' - but 'who I am' 'where I am'.  
No matter the environment, you're still with you here - therefore, I'd suggest considering the reason why 'the wilderness', because in your mind exist a perception that it'll be 'easier' / 'simpler' 'there' - not realising that your process isn't determined according to 'where you are' - but 'who I am' 'where I am'.  
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I have removed myself from society from time to time to focus on my consistency in self honesty in self expression--but inevitably one must return and live in this world to transcend this world in and as the breath in every moment.
I have removed myself from society from time to time to focus on my consistency in self honesty in self expression--but inevitably one must return and live in this world to transcend this world in and as the breath in every moment.


==What happens if we give up?==
==What happens if we give up?==

Revision as of 17:29, 19 February 2012

2008

What is the point of carrying on and depression

Perspective

The answer is a difficult one to phantom. There will be no direct support on an individual basis--the power is within each one to stand and enter the world and participate and change the world. The diemnsions will not and may not interfere--that will enslave you again.

I understand where you are. I stood up and then waited--something must happen now--nothing did. 2 years later I had 2 children, no food, no money, no future, no way forward--so--in every breath I walked--taking care of the basics--in equality and oneness--and in the breath--I found the map--the way out for support.

I could have fallen and destroyed myself in depression or anger for no support coming from Heaven--I did not--so my inner strength grew, and made possible for what is now unfolding. This took 1-2 months from the moment I realise I had to do it for myself to get out of the ditch. I had to try every door so to speak to find a way. Move myself--let go of my judgements and pre conceived ideas of the world. In this seven years since then, much happened--I became a millionaire--and gave it up again--it is not the way. And thus Desteni was born.

We are each on our own journey, and we have the power in us to stand in this world and make a difference, assist others to see what we see and to realise self practically.

The dimensions are no diffirent to here, the same stuff, all will have to stand and participate, and in our participation--in every breath--we will make our mark and the reality will adjust. It won't happen in a moment--it happen as we will it--stand up or fall--it is still our will.

Scream or breathe--it is still our will.

We are the answer. Man is the answer, not dimensions. There you are screwed and subject to what happens on earth. We really srewed ourselves because we allowed ourselves to be enslaved without looking at the long term effect of our doings or not doings.

So stand up--breath--fend for yourself and do it for all as one--it will be a battle--an inner battle--but--if done with resolve--each breath will support you--and the breath is all the support each require to support self.

But I had to realise-- if it is to be--it is up to me--alone in my world--which sometimes touch other worlds--it is in the touching other worlds that we create the way we experience the world.

The DESIGN of Giving Up and Standing Up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPOqFIGO0c0


Living in the Wilderness to stop

Question

Being aware of how my systems can be triggered in this world where humans live door to door, trillions of programs running in a square inch, I am considering myself going into the very wilderness and rest there in order to effectively live stopping.

I've realized in the past few weeks that I'm moving my body more and more to what our systems call "nature". Hanging around on the balcony, outside of four walls, cycling to the lake 2 miles from here, etc.

My process kind of "speeds up" everytime I move my body out of "familiar" systems.

So, how about going into the wilderness to stop?

Perspective

Do not accept or allow your environment currently to determine you and your process, because at the moment your starting point is in separation of 'wanting to go into the wilderness' - to 'only stop there' and assist and support you in your process 'there' = separation.

No matter the environment, you're still with you here - therefore, I'd suggest considering the reason why 'the wilderness', because in your mind exist a perception that it'll be 'easier' / 'simpler' 'there' - not realising that your process isn't determined according to 'where you are' - but 'who I am' 'where I am'.

And wanting to go to the wilderness because you perceive your process will be simpler/easier 'there' - is determining and defining you according to your environment - and not towards you, yourself.

Herein, I'd suggest observing the perception / idea that exist within your mind with regards to 'in the wilderness it'll be easier/simpler' - and what in your world/environment at the moment is causing this perception/idea - what in your world/environment are you judging that you believe is 'hindering' your process - not realising that it's not your environment that's hindering your process - but a perception/belief you have of your environment currently.

Jack

Another perspective

I have removed myself from society from time to time to focus on my consistency in self honesty in self expression--but inevitably one must return and live in this world to transcend this world in and as the breath in every moment.

What happens if we give up?

Understand that if we do not make it on earth as all--no-one will make it and we start the cycle again--this time times 4--every cycle toughens up--this is our 11th cycle--the next will be more traumatic.

The ones that stand--will change the outcome--but to do it because it is a mess--is not self honest yet--to do it because it is for you as you as life--is self honest--to be the living self--that is to be self realized.

It is not about helping humanity--it is about self--and when you focus on self honesty--it will be easier as the breath

no-one will save mankind--each will do it for self--alone--the road to self in self honesty is.



Question

Perspective on: actually Im so tired of this existence, cant wait to be free once again


Perspective

Well, then within this tiredness – stand up, take self responsibility for you and actually participate to stop what we have accepted and allowed = through stopping within you first.



Question

I feel as if I am the tree in the middle of the forest. I hear of great wars, aliens, gods and most importantly REPTILIANS(supposedly these creatures rule humans and can manipulate and transform?). I am scared, emotional(The smallest of things can tear into me like a hot knife into butter) and tired. I want nothing more to do with myself or this plane, dimension or whatever it is or isn't. I tried to summon DEMONS but to no avail; It was so sad, I was sure they could take my pain away. Perhaps I will try again tonight.


Perspective

Hi


My name is Slamez.


I deliberately removed myself from this world a few months ago, because I really believed that it would solve all my problems that I experienced within me, that seemingly didn't want to go away and always just got worse, until I finally decided that I had enough and the only way I believed to be the way out is to remove me from this world, because I thought that the problems I was experiencing within me was because of this world. I thought and believed that what I experienced within me was because I was in this world, this world was doing this to me - and I had to get out.


I did not realise that it was actually me who did all that I experienced within me - to myself, that it wasn't this world's fault, the world wasn't to blame - I was responsible.


And that's quite a tough one to realise, because I didn't want to know / understand that I was actually responsible for what I experience within me - because it's so much easier to blame it and fault it on something or someone else other than self. I realised that in doing this - I was being a coward.


I only blamed and faulted the world because I was too shit scared to actually take responsibility for me within me - and used blame and fault on the world and others of this world to manipulate others to 'feel sorry for me' / 'help me' because I didn't want to do it - but rather gather pity from others so that they must help me out of what I experienced instead of me doing it for me.

But the irony of it all was that I was alone and I had no-one else to manipulate but myself. So I continued to blame and fault everything and everyone around me - and I did this, I continued to experience the shit I did inside myself, and it got worse, much worse - as to in such a way keep on justifying why I experience what I am within me - until I finally made the biggest mistake known within this existence...


And I now realised that I deliberately fucked myself - as though I was deliberately manifesting the experience of me, so that I would get back at something or someone if I fuck myself up to the extent where I'm not able to handle it anymore, then when I remove myself from this world can say: 'Look, look what you have done to me - this is your fault, you did this to me.' But this didn't happen...


When I removed myself from this world, I for a split second didn't experience anything, a real refraction of a moment - that refraction of a moment when I removed myself...

But then after that split second refraction of a moment, then - everything came rushing back, all that I experienced within me here on earth was still fucking here, I was still here - even after I have removed myself from this world. I was dead - but everything that I experienced here on earth within me, was still here! I couldn't believe it.


You can just imagine my reaction: The anger I experienced within me was so great - an anger that I had not experienced before ever. Because I really, really thought and believed my experience would just STOP and I would cease to exist (I did not believe in the afterlife while here on earth) - but fuck, I still existed and everything else within me of what I experienced on earth still existed - along with immense pain, pain so intense a human being within a human physical body would not handle it and die in a minute of experiencing such pain - yes, one do experience pain even after death.


Here's how I fucked myself in this world and also furtherly fucked myself by removing myself from this world:


I did not complete my education degree within this world, because my father drank himself to death - I remember us looking for him one evening, because he was gone for a day, he usually came back from drinking after work at around 5-6 am in the mornings, but when he didn't come back the one morning and the entire next day, my mother, grandmother, grandfather, and little sister and I went looking for him. During this time I was eight years old. We found him in a junkyard (my sister and I) - with his bottle of liquor in his hand, beaten up pretty bad - he had a hole in his head - dead.

I for one was relieved - I remember in that moment saying thank you. When I was young I didn't believe in a God per say, yet I did talk to it - I asked for my father to go away as he beat up my sister - he never touched me. I only asked for that which I knew I wouldn't; be able to do myself, but maybe that there's something / someone that could. I even wished on stars for him to go away.


My sister was a year younger than me - she died when I was 10, she was 9. She got sick, fever - and no-one could bring the fever down, not even the doctors and she died within three weeks of falling ill, everything within her just shut down - I was certain that it was because of all those years of my father beating her up, raping her. Before she died she said: I will be your angel that protects you.


My grandmother fondled with me as well when I was young - from the ages of about 5 to 7 years, until I was eight and I slapped her in the face and said to her: Don't do this to me, it hurts - then she stopped.


So, I was left to fend for the family. We raised chickens in our backyard which was our source of income - entered some of the chickens in fights, others laid eggs which we sold at the local store. This is what I did until I was 15 - at 15, before I finished that particular year of schooling - I left school. Because I decided: Why the hell go to school if I already know my life is not going to go anywhere?


No-one cared whether I left.


I started stealing to earn extra income for myself, which I decided I would save to get myself away from the town within which I lived. Everything just slowly started falling apart - because I did not tend to the chickens, my mother seldom did - she was broken when my sister and father died - even though she knew what he had done to her child. She was so goddamn afraid of him. And because of this also - she started hitting me - with pans and pots, she had no-one else to vent on, but me - and so she did.


I got quite good at stealing - I didn't steal much from people's home, just items that they'd think they've missed placed and not recognize that it's been stolen. I watched people's home during the days - check when they'd be there and when not and so I'd plan the exact appropriate time to get in. This is how I took care of myself - I stole clothes and when I was in other people's houses I'd eat as well.


I only went home to sleep. My grandmother and grandfather left when I was 17 - my mother and myself alone. My mother was taken care of by other people in the town sending her food. She didn't care about me whatsoever - she stopped talking to me and only started hitting me after my sister died.


I started becoming involved with some older guys when I was 17 / 18 - involved from the perspective of 'befriending'. So I got introduced to heroin. I then bought the heroin through all that I have stolen from other people's houses - mostly jewelry and cash that I found. I slept wherever I could because I didn't go home ever again since that time I used heroin - I never saw my mother again.


I'd been in prison when I was 22. In prison I was fucked up pretty badly by other men (raped also) - I was thin and scrawny then. I'd never had sex with a woman in my life while on earth - only those times with my grandmother and then the men in prison.

'The guys' - I called them 'My Heroiinis' - jumped me, knived me one evening when I could not pay them for the heroin I used up.


Went to a 'hospital' when someone found me. Started working there and also stayed there - asked if I could have a job cleaning. So I did that - seeing sick people every day really got to me. This was when I was 23. Me and another guy working there started smuggling out medications and used it to get high - injecting ourselves with all sorts of shit, experimenting with it.

I was then one evening found where I stayed in the hospital - I had injected all sorts of into me and the bottles was lying around. I was then just thrown out - left with nothing.


I begged on the streets - stayed on the streets for a few months until I turned 24. I couldn't take it anymore. I had heard of some guys on the streets selling guns. I begged to save up money to buy one. So I did. I bought myself a bottle of alcohol, finished it and then shot myself in a field far away from town - and it was done. So - I died before I was 25 years old.


This is but what happened with me in my life. The actual experiences within me, what was going on - would take me a book to write, and this is but an concise description of my experience.


I am here to share my experience with you, because I would not want me as you to do what I have done unto myself, by making the most biggest mistake that could possibly be made within one's existence.


I understand that my life seems like a reason to remove myself from this world - shit, it did at the time. But I could've lived differently - that is most definitely certain. All that I experienced I did to me and there were many opportunities with which I would've been able to stop - but I just continued fucking myself up. Continued to blame it on my father, God, mother, the world others because of what they did to me...


See - I thought and believed that the reason I wanted to remove myself from this world was because of the circumstances I found myself in, in this world - but it's not so - the self honest truth is, is that I was wanting to get away from myself because I could not live with myself anymore, I could not handle me anymore, I could not deal with me anymore.

And the reason I say that it is the biggest mistake that I could've made is because all that I experienced within me, which I wanted to have stop, to get out: Was still with me after death. And if you look at my life - you can just imagine what I went through and what still existed within me, even after I had died. And then I realised - that it made no difference to the experience of me within me, when I removed myself from this world - nothing changed but my environment - I was still left with me and all of me as what I experienced within me.


So - the self honest truth you must realise is that the reason you're even considering removing yourself from this world - is not because of this world, other human beings etc. - it's because of YOU, and YOU alone. It's got nothing to do with your circumstance or environment - it's got to do with who you are in this moment and how you're experiencing you within you. You actually want to get away from yourself and what you experience within you. And you currently think / believe that if you'd remove yourself from this world you'd be free from what you're experiencing now: You will most certainly not be. You will bring with everything you experience within you in this moment now - exactly what you're experiencing now - you'll still experience after death - together with the pain.


I would suggest not removing yourself from this world to only then realise what I had because of what I had done to myself:

To discover that you are responsible for what you experience within you - and it's got nothing to do with this world or others in this world - it's all about you and what you're accepting and allowing within yourself to continue.


So - removing yourself from this world is not a solution, take it from me: I know, because I experienced it and I would not have another do unto themselves what I have done unto myself. I would suggest you face yourself here in this world, stand up within you here and take responsibility for you here. There are many self support and self assistance application provided here by Desteni so you may assist and support you in every moment of breath.


C'mon man - stop participating in that mind of yours, that's the thing that you're accepting and allowing you to participate in which is causing the experience you're having within you. Stop participating in the mind in every moment of breath - stop participating in emotions and feelings and thoughts of the mind which is causing the experience within you - this is how you stand up within you and take self responsibility for you. Start realising that you're causing the experiences within you because of your accepted and allowed participation in the mind - and you are able to take self responsibility, stand up within you and apply yourself in every moment of breath by not accepting and allowing you to participate in the mind.


You as who you really are within you is the reason to keep on living - YOU, though this YOU, you will only live and experience and express if you apply yourself to stop participating in the mind in every moment of breath.


I'd suggest you start with self forgiveness. As self forgiveness will present to you the opportunity to stand up within you, face yourself here, and take self responsibility for you here. I'd also suggest you start writing - writing down the experience of you and as you write you apply self forgiveness.


Do not make the same mistake I did - stand up within you, stop blaming or placing fault on the world or others - as nothing and no-one else is responsible for what you experience within you but yourself - and so you're able to assist and support you to no longer accept and allow what you experience within you through applying self forgiveness and in every moment when a thought/feeling/emotion come up to say: STOP - I will not accept / allow this - this is not who I am.


Man - if I knew what I understand in this moment - I would've changed the experience of me in this world instantaneously - because I didn't know then, that I actually had the ability within me, to change the experience of me within this world, by assisting and supporting me as who I am.

You have this opportunity, you understand and know that you have the ability to change the experience of you within you - I'd be most grateful if I were you. Grateful that you understand and know that you have the ability to change the experience of you - I'd suggest you do it and you start with self forgiveness. Give you the opportunity in this world to live, experience and express you - to no longer accept / allow anything or anyone to influence you within you - but to stand up and take self responsibility for you in every moment of breath.


There are no Reptilians in this world or of this world - there are no reptilians even in the interdimensional existence - so this fear within you, you can lay to rest. All that exist within this world is human beings with their own minds - lost within their own minds instead of living here in breath as who you really are.


So - start focusing on you, who you are = stop concerning yourself with the world / others of what may / might be going on in this world of which you hear from other human beings also lost within their minds.


The only way you'll stop the pain is through standing up within you and stop participation in the mind in every moment of breath = especially also assisting and supporting you with self forgiveness = YOU ARE THE SOLUTION - so, live and apply yourself in every moment of breath and not accept / allow anything less than who you are.


SELF FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY MATE! So start immediately.


If you require any further specifics with regards to self forgiveness - let us know - we're here.


Me