Spitefulness after the ending of a Relationship
I found myself facing some interesting points after a relationship break up and thought I'd share some experience.
We started dating in highschool and were together for over 4 years. We had both grown alot together and were linked very tightly and never fought... I feel like we shared quite a different relationship then we were urrounded by on a daily basis.
After the break up It was absolutely amazing to see all the shit that poped up from my mind. SOO much was incredibly clear! But by no means easy to face.
Seeing the swing of my girlfriend from complete love to utter hate and disgust was absolutely astonishing. I of course felt the rush of emptiness, depression, suicide, and all those goodies...
One of the most interesting points I faced was SPITE. I would randomly have a thought pop up similar to something like this - I should go to an event and make sure to take a billion awesome pictures of me having so much fun....and post them online for my ex to see simply so she might feel bad or feel upset or feel any range of horrible emotions. Trying to figure this mess called spite out in my head was not working too well, imagine that. So here's what i see.... spite toward an ex is one person pretending to be any range of good positive emotion in order to hide or cover up the opposite bad or negative emotion/feeling in order to hopefully make the other person feel some kind of bad horrible emotion/feeling.
Where the hell did I learn this Emotional Spiting from!? Is SPITE a deep entrenched defense mechanism of the mind we learn from this ludicrous society as little kids? If I can spite you and cause you more emotional harm than you caused me, i win??? LMFAO!
What manifests within ‘Matrix-Relationships’, especially when walking quite a few years together - is a ‘merging’ of the ‘Two Minds’ of the Two Beings within each-other – which manifests quite extensively within-Both, as-Both through the extensive amounts of ‘System-Transfers’ that ‘took-place’ within and during Sex.
Within this – Both Beings are then ‘merged’ through their Minds and a ‘Mental Co-Dependency’ manifest between the Two as both are ‘Mentally dependent on Each-Other’ to ‘feed each-other’ constant continuous ‘Energy’. And - with the ‘Relationship’ reaching the stage of ‘Mind-Merging’ – the ‘Mind-Energy Feeding’ becomes ‘automated’ and both parties are, for the duration of the ‘Relationship’ ‘Satisfied’ – because both their Minds are being ‘fed energy’ ‘automatically’ as each-other support each-others wants, needs and desires etc.
Also, within the ‘Mind-Merging’, what manifest is Both being defined by Each-Other, wherein ‘Parts of Each-Other’ exist within Each-Other, meaning for example – wherein, Parts of You would be defined by, through and according to her from the perspective of, for example: How you walk, talk, eat, sleep, dress, feel, experience-yourself, handle-situations, are around other people/with other people = all of that, is based on your ‘Relationship with Her’ and also vice-versa. The ‘total platform/basis’ of ‘who you are’ is based on the Relationship and the Partner.
When the Relationship End – what Happens is, that All the ‘Energetic Relationship Lines’ that kept the Two Minds merged within Each-Other is ‘cut’ so to speak, meaning – wherein, some ‘Parts of You’ that you defined according to Her and the Relationship = is no more being ‘stimulated’, you’re no-more receiving the ‘Energy’ that you Need for your Mind to keep those Self-Definition Parts ‘going’ = which cause/manifest ‘Depression’, for example. ‘Depression’ Manifest as the ‘experience’ of ‘Loss’ – but what you’re actually experiencing is the Mind’s ‘Loss’ of Energy, for example.
So – all the ‘experiences’ you have after a ‘break-up’, is actually your ‘Relationship-Mind’s’ ‘break-down’ so to speak, because within such a ‘Matrix-Relationship’ – you literally manifest, create and program your Mind, your-‘self’, completely according to and as the ‘Relationship’ and so actually create, manifest and program a ‘Relationship Mind’, within which you exist, experience yourself and define yourself-As and ‘believe it’s who you are’ = when it’s Not.
So – I’d use this ‘Release’ as an Opportunity to ‘get to know who I am’, who I really am – because you’ve over ‘Time’ ‘lost yourself’ into and as a ‘Relationship Mind’ = you’ve never given yourself the opportunity to get to know who you are, who you really are = in fact, you at this Moment don’t actually, really know yourself yet = because you’ve only existed as a ‘Relationship Mind’, lost in a ‘Relationship World’ – Missing yourself and the entire World that is Here.
So – observe, investigate yourself, stop the Mind, Breathe – Self-Forgiveness and Self-Honesty: Get to Know You – the Opportunity is Here, because you’re Here.