Anger

2008

Anger, paranoia and dishonesty

Perspective

A few years ago--It was me writing what you expressed here-- Then I realised a shocking thing--we are all the same in what we do and how we do it--just in diffirent cycles--so that it look like we are diffirent-- I had lots of anger at everything-- and used that to not harm but stop me from participating in the shit--then I had some peace-- I shut up and stop all participation-- for 2 years totally stopping-- just writing--get it all out and then writing--how would I like it to be--what will work--what is possible--where do I still want control just for me and some-one suffers-- I used words--any that come due to some event--then sit down and write about the word--all the dimensions of the word--what would this word be as a living expression as myself

and yes--it took time--but I had enough of the mind-- which in a way had become my idea of me--so--I breathed and stopped-- and I wrote books full of stuff--some still valid today--some as a stepping stone to find some sanity in the insanity we call life and the world-- then I planned what to do- see-- I got to the point that I realised that if I do nothing as an expression of myself--who am I?--I must express myself--even in the face of conflict--if I mess up--back to the drawing board--write about it and in the writing find a way where it will work for all infinately

yes--this is the process of self with much manure--we may use the manure to assist us in our own selfrealisation and understanding-- I always look at who I will be if things change--will I change--If I change because events arround me change--I am still enslaved-- back to writing again

So- Rick-- look at it--the writing on the forum really assisted you--look at how the way you placed the words changed as you worked with yourself--see how your starting point has shifted already--it is in the words--we cannot lie to ourselves when we write about ourselves--it is like speaking alloud and doing self forgiveness aloud--speaking or writing all out

will do some DIY interviews as well