Dreams

Sleeping and Dreaming, what is it?

In this section we give the Destonian perspective on sleeping and dreaming. We outline this perspective from a variety of angles: interdimensional beings, Bernard Poolman's interviews, Sunette, and other Destonians who have contributed to the content of this page.

On Sleeping

Understand the following: That you as a being as 'life essence' as who you are of life does not require sleep and does not sleep - an example of this is interdimensional beings. Anyone ever considered the question: Why human beings sleep but interdimensional beings do not sleep...?

Sleeping is also pre-programmed within and as the mind consciousness system within human beings - when you 'sleep' this is when the mind consciousness system 'regenerates' and'rejuvenates' itself in preparation for 'another day' when you'll be 'actively participating' as a mind consciousness system within this world as the unified consciousness field. Thus, the mind consciousness system will 'while you're asleep' 'dig into' and 'submerge' itself into the subconscious and unconscious mind to allocate memory banks, thoughts, past experiences etc. to merge / rise / install within your conscious mind, so when you participate within your daily 'life experience' you'll have a 'new fresh set of thoughts / thoughts patterns' to pre-occupy you with.

The 'sleep stages' are actually where you submerge you within yourself, while your mind submerges you and takes you 'with it' from the conscious mind, into the subconscious mind straight through to the unconscious mind (your deep sleep), see the mind takes you with it, because it cannot exist without you, and the mind can only take you on this journey through the mind stages to rejuvenate and regenerate when you're 'asleep' so you don't actually know this is really happening. Thus,'sleeping' is an automated constructed system within and as your mind consciousness system to 'keep it going' - to 'keep you going' as a mind consciousness system. This is where dreaming takes place. Dreams were the diversion for human beings to not actually see/experience/understand what really happens when they dream in any way whatsoever. You 'think' you're dreaming but your mind system is actually taking you on its journey through the mind stages into the unconscious mind, to 'dig' and 'search' for thought patterns / behaviors / system alignments from the 'global unconscious as the unified consciousness field', to install [these] within you, to 'implant' within you, to 'pre-occupy' you through another day, and so this continues every evening you sleep - this is the procedure that takes place. Then when you wake up all 'groggy' it's you together with the mind as the mind, rising up from within the unconscious to the subconscious to the conscious, when you're 'awake' you're fully / completely within and as the conscious mind. The reason why the world says 8 - 9 hours sleep is because the entire procedure takes 8 - 9 hours for full completion: installation and implantation of unconscious mind manifestations to be infused within and as your own mind consciousness system.

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On Dreaming

Though, what we have done with regards to dreams is the following, instead of you going within and as your own mind journey through the mind stages - we've compressed all three mind stages to one singular point within you as you where we 'brought together everything and all of you to one singular point within the mind as all three mind stages'. Thus, when you sleep, you don't submerge anymore, but is placed within this one singular point, where dreams are inserted which assist and support you within the current point placement of yourself within your process - thus - dreams now assist and support you with regards to where you are in your process currently - the 'point' of you within yourself.

That is why we suggest only 4 - 6 hours sleep, this is all you require, because if you sleep longer than this, you'll move beyond this point placement of you within you and submerge with your mind into the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind. Thus you giving your mind the opportunity to regenerate and rejuvenate itself by installing and implanting manifestation within you from other human beings in this world through the unconscious mind unified field connection / interconnection - and have experiences / reactions within you - that's not even of you - but believe to be you, then the moment you believe it to be you - you make it your own - and thus so ingrain the reactions/behaviors within and as your own mind consciousness system. 4 - 6 Hours sleep is sufficient - it's all your human physical body requires because then it's not sleep per say - but resting your human physical body for a moment. It will take some diligence to 're-set' yourself to only sleep 4 - 6 hours a day - though each have the will to do this.

Will do the self forgiveness list as well - though - here for the moment diligence and discipline to only sleep for 4 - 6 hours maximum.

Dreams as Reality? Discover yourself in Dreams

Understand that the Dream-Reality is no different to the Physical-Reality, because in both Realities a Being's experience is exactly the same, because the Being exist as the Mind, and experience themselves as and through the Mind within both the Dream-Reality and the Physical-Reality. In essence what I’m stating here is that Beings are not actually really existing in and as the Physical-Reality, we’re existing in the Mind, separate from the Physical. In essence, [we are]always existing within a ‘Dream-World’ of sorts as the Illusions of and as our own Mind. Thus, the Dream-World, in terms of the experience of the Mind as you is the ‘real-Reality’, as the Mind’s own reality of itself as our ‘real-Reality’ –in reality – the Physical do not actually exist for us, all we’re always experiencing is ourselves as and of the Mind [which is] not actually the Physical Here. I, Chief – have taken responsibility for and as the Point of Dreams – finding practical ways/methods with which to utilize Dreams,in assisting and supporting the Being in their Process of Self-Realization as the Physical equal and one Here. (...) Dreams are now directly related to Self and Self alone, and will reflect suppression/secrets/denials/desires etc. as parts of Self that Self has separated Self from to, through Dreams see the Truth of Self directly to from/through Dreams assist and support Self within the Process of Self-Corrective-Action within Self-honest Self-Forgiveness. And stop, stand-up and change/transform Self in every moment of breath as you participate in this world in Walking the Principle of Equality and Oneness as Life.

In this: ‘short-circuiting’ one’s Process so that you don’t have to go through more events/ experiences within your world as manifested-Consequence to be able to see the Truth of you and then only change/Stand-up – which could take weeks, months even years to ‘play-out’ – dependent on the severity of the self-definition as a particular point of Mind.(...) A suggestion, also – is that one do not ‘define Self according to/as dreams’ – otherwise, one will accept and allow self-limitation within that definition. Simply realize/understand that dreams simply reflect/reveal parts of Self that Self has accepted and allowed Self to separate Self from. Thus, it is to investigate the Dream-Self-Revelation self-honestly; change/transform Self in Living-application and Unconditionally let the point as the Dream go. For even within holding onto a dream within Self, hold Self to that dream, enslaved to that dream – then Self cannot move Here – because Self is stuck in/as a Dream-Reality past-memory-Moment. (Transcribed from Bernard Poolman's interview "Dreams as Reality? Discover yourself in Dreams")

Self-Forgiveness

Overview

Dreams: Self Forgiveness of/for Interpretation through Knowledge

Step 1: Whenever you are interpreting – you are using the Mind and you’re using knowledge you already have or things you have already captured through your photographic capturing system called the eyes. Capturing a lot more than what you’re consciously seeing and use that within you interpretations to make sense of your reality.

Unconditional forgiveness is the key – do not try and understand knowledge or interpretations – because you were not present when you captured the images. Therefore – unconditionally let them go – then you look again – unconditional self forgiveness on everything.

When you are structuring your forgiveness in sentences – for instance – I forgive myself that I have allowed myself...then you follow the words in sequence – as you would literally physically rub out or erase the geometrical form of the pictured interpretation. This is done that your forgiveness in words – is actual physical space-time related as you have interpreted and accepted your space-time reality according to the pictures that reflects in your mind as your observations. (posted by Sunette)

On Sleeping

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I need and must have sufficient sleep otherwise if I don't - I'll be tired

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on sleep

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that 'lack of sleep' exist - and that if I were to 'lack sleep' - I will be tired

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define 'lack of sleep' to tiredness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that tiredness exist

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that tiredness is an idea / belief designed of the mind, accepted and allowed as 'normal' due to 'lack of sleep'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sleeping 8 - 9 hours or more is healthy for my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define sleeping as healthy

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize, see or understand that sleeping is a system the mind system use to alter / change / update itself - while / during I am unconscious

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use / abuse sleep as an escape from my reality, manipulating the reason and cause for sleeping through 'making it sound acceptable' through believing sleeping 8 - 9 hours or more is healthy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sleep as a method of hiding from self responsibility and facing myself within and as my reality in every moment as the moment as the breath

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the body only requires rest for a maximum of 6 hours - and that's it

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the mind is the directive principle of me - as it has the ability to induce perceptual tiredness, which is the mind consciousness systems' 'signal / sign' that it requires regeneration and rejuvenation - which is done through sleeping 8 - 9 hours or more

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that tiredness and sleep exist within the mind of the mind - it is not who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed, influenced and controlled by the mind - through it informing me when it's 'tired', then using me to 'sleep' while it rejuvenates and regenerates and replenishes itself as it takes me on the journey through my subconscious and unconscious mind - to 'allocate' manifestations to pre-occupy me during another day while I'm 'awake'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to use me - I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that abuse exist within self, through accepting and allowing myself to be abused by the mind - and because I accept / allow this within me - I accept / allow this within the rest of the world as me

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that 'sleeping' and 'awake' is also polarity manifestations of the mind - I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that it's the mind that sleeps and it's the mind that wakes up and thus - that I have never really lived

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself realize that the 'normalcy' of sleeping 8 - 9 hours a day is accepted and allowed by all of humanity within and of the unified consciousness field because it's the exact amount of time the mind requires to allocate manifestations within the unconscious mind, then to merge them into the conscious mind as the mind 'wakes' - I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the manifestations merged into the conscious mind, extracted from the unconscious mind is of the unified consciousness field from other human beings - yet - the moment I believe a thought to be me, as me, - I make such manifestations my own and in this moment - I infuse other human beings' thought patterned behaviors / habits within and as the mind consciousness system that exist within me - and thus such manifestations become me

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the mind is 'at work' while I 'sleep' - conjuring and gathering manifestations of any and all kinds, extracted from the unconscious mind - to merge into my conscious mind, so I believe that such manifestations to be me, because it exists in my mind - and so the mind consciousness system within me 'upgrades itself' every evening I 'sleep'

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that dreams are used by the mind consciousness system to divert my attention while I sleep to not actually understand / know what's really going on while I sleep - therefore - dreams were meaningless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am exist as thoughts, feelings and emotions - needing 'lots of sleep' for a 'healthy life'

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that 'lots of sleep' 8 - 9 hours or more - is healthy for the mind consciousness system within me as that which I have accepted and allowed myself to become

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that 'the difficulty of waking up in the mornings' is my emergence as the mind from the unconscious, to the subconscious to the conscious mind - which 'takes a while' - then when I'm 'awake' and 'up' - it's actually me as the conscious mind, actively participating within and of the unified consciousness field

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define who I am as sleep / sleeping

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define who I am as tired / tiredness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the pre-occupation and attention diversion of the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions to not accept or allow myself to experience myself as the breath of life as the moment - here as who I am

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that who I am is the breath as the breath as the moment - here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe/think that if I sleep 'less than' I usually do - I will be tired the next morning - instead of realizing that I am designing the very experience of tiredness in the morning through the perceptual belief/idea that less sleep equals tiredness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the idea/belief of 'less sleep than I usually have' equals tiredness the next morning - which influence the experience of me within and throughout the entire day - instead of remaining here as the breath as me in every moment

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to wake up in the morning as the breath as me as the moment as me

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that it's the mind that struggles to wake up in the mornings - as it merges with me as me from the unconscious mind to the subconscious mind to the conscious mind - where it eventually later 'wakes up' completely

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that in the mornings when I open my eyes and I accept / allow myself to participate in one singular thought - I 'activate' all the workings / findings / manifestations the mind retrieved and obtained within the unconscious mind while I was being pre-occupied through dreams - referred to as sleeping - and then allow / accept all such manifestations to infuse within me as me - and thus become such manifestations as thought patterns and behaviors within and of the unified consciousness field.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that sleeping is literal sleep - the complete submerge of me, as the mind does it's work - because I as who I am is not aware

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that 'awakening' and 'awake' that exist within and of the unified consciousness field - is the 'awake' and 'awakening' of the mind in it's entirety - that it's not to be awake - but to live practically as who I am which is here as the moment as the breath as me - because for 'awake / awakening' to exist - 'sleep / sleeping' must exist - the 'awake/awakening' for the mind of the mind and the 'sleep / sleeping' for me of me, disappearing into the background within myself until I no longer exist and only the mind as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become exist as me.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I have always been asleep - the actual sleeping of me as the manifested experience thereof is proof - as the mind exists always, the mind is always active - and thus proof that I have never actually practically lived before as who I am as the breath as the moment as me

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I have never actually practically lived as who I am as the breath as the moment as me - but that I have always accepted and allowed the mind to control / direct and influence me through believing and perceiving that who I am is thoughts/feelings and emotions

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to separate myself from the human physical body of life - from the breath - not realizing that breath is life as me nurturing the expression and manifestation of life as the human physical body as me - I am breath - I am human physical body - I am here - I am moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be submerged within and as myself through allowing and accepting myself to be and become the mind consciousness system - because I have believed the lie that I need to be and become the mind consciousness system to survive and exist within and as the unified consciousness field

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become the mind consciousness system - to be of thoughts, feelings and emotions - because it's what and who everyone else has become as those that have gone before me which I have believed and trusted to be 'my example' -instead of realizing I am the unconditional innocence of self expression of life that exist as the moment as the breath of life as me - the simplicity of practical living exist here as the moment as the breath within and as oneness and equality as the human physical body as the manifestation of life as life of me as me

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I am simplicity

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I am breath as life of life as me

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the very manifestation of creation as me of life within and as oneness and equality is here as the human physical body of the breath of life as me

Practical Dream Assessment

Dream

I just remembered one more dream that left me feeling strange. I know a lot has been written about dreams already and i'm starting to understand the function they fulfill as assisting: i can't remember the whole dream, I just remember the end bit, where I ended up jumping into this huge barrel or metal container. It was white in colour and there was loads of millet inside, my partner was with me, and it was awfully moist inside. Then I took off one of my shoes because I felt a strange grinding, feeling and I discovered a whole bunch of white larva-wormish things eating into the sole of my foot....it was disgusting, so I tried to wipe them off, trying to pull them out of the holes they were making in the sole of my foot, i got all out but one and that one went in deeper so i couldnt get hold of it, all i could feel was the grinding feeling of sth eating on my flesh and with that feeling I woke up and I had to actually check my foot because it felt so real. was really strange.......... that came to my mind now, was that the worms/larva were the system, the mind trying to get in deeper into me and i'm trying to wipe it off, out of self, myself.

Perspective

The dream with the worms/larva is actually a manifested fear that you have of 'being eaten while you are still alive' - what I would suggest here is to have a look at the description of the dream again and apply self forgiveness for the experience of you within the dream - and of the fear of 'being eaten while you're still alive' - of being in a situation and 'your life is out of your hands'. This done, to release yourself from the fear manifested connection your mind has of 'being eaten while you're still alive' and 'your life being out of your hands'.

It also 'links' with the fear of not 'being in control' of you and you world - the fear of 'freedom of self expression' - 'freedom of self expression' exists in every moment you live self honesty - but human beings 'tend to' want to control their world and themselves according to how their mind has been designed by preferences, which gives off the illusion of stability and strength. Here I suggest self forgiveness on 'wanting' and desiring to control you and your world according the mind's preference and design, and also on defining control and stability and strength. Applying / living self control is not allowing / accepting yourself to participate in this mind - but stop immediately when you realise that you're in the mind and to apply self forgiveness.

Yes - as you said, it is the mind 'grinding' deeper into you as you through utelizing fears that exist within you - which you believe and perceive yourself to be, though, fear is a design of the mind as emotion and not who you really are.

Here is a self forgiveness list on Control and Fear:

Control: http://desteni.org/a/veno-self-forgiveness-self-control

Fear: http://desteni.org/a/veno-self-forgiveness-fear

Dream

Before having a vivid dream this morning, I dreamt that I was late for a train. As I was late I accepted and allowed myself to feel afraid of the con-sequences and thus I gave control to the mind. My mind then proceeded to try and solve the problem by hijacking a bus, which had passengers. I don't quite remember what I did to the bus-driver, but I either hurt and/or became him in a way, at least that's the sort of sensation I can remember. Then I proceeded with hazardous driving on the freeway.

Then there was a transition to another dream.

In this dream I am with a few friends. We're hanging out, like you normally do, and one of my friends has brought his cousin along. For some reason he is not very capable of speaking and he tries to show me something, when this happens the mind wanders and I feel a bit uncomfortable about the communication difficulty. He proceeds to show me something a bit like throwing a rope, and then I get the image of a boat. I think, 'oh, he wants to show me his boat'. Then there is a dock and water and he he points my attention to the water, where I see something or rather someone. As I'm trying to make it out through the ripples of the water, the surface transitions from being horizontal to vertical, and the water with the being in it is coming closer and closer, and I start to feel amazed and a bit more uncomfortable. At this point my friend's cousin has disappeared and I look to the side to see if my friend's are there, I see one and I try to yell to him and point at the being in the water to make him notice, but he is asleep. Then I am starting to feel a bit more panicky and I proceed to try and shake him and call his name but he is very unconscious. Then I look back to the being in the water and by now it's only a few meters in front of me and trying to show me something or communicate, but I don't quite understand and I become more afraid and want to run away, but at this point I am paralyzed and facing the being. As I look at the being it's features are sort of changing in the ripples of the water, it sort of has some of the same features as me. By then I am very much in a state of panic and fear because of being unable to move and run, and I do my best to try and wriggle or shake and yell to my friend. Then as I am slowly regaining control and movement, I slowly wake up in my bed...

After waking, I am still a bit scared and in fear, I am thinking about it and trying to put it in a con-text. And as I am accepting and allowing my mind to do that, it comes up with a sort of conspiracy theory or idea that some alien being was trying to take over my body. As I am thinking about that, I become more and more panicky and afraid, and as this is happening I realize that I am also beginning to breathe heavier and heavier, and through the breathing I am then able to calm myself and get out of my minds ideas and con-structs, and thus stop my fear and anxiety.

Perspective

What this dream shows is that you can place your self-interest first in survival situations (possibly other situations as well). Where your ass is on the line, or when there is a personal risk involved - you are willing to project yourself in a superior position and disregard the rest. That is what the example of the bus would show. Then you proceed to drive hazardous on the freeway = risking others (the common good) for your own self interest (getting somewhere on time). Letting fear move you to do things that are not best for all.

Being uncomfortable with someone who is not very well in communicating, shows your own uncomfortability within yourself, which you would feel when you perceive yourself to for example not communicate effectively. Or this can be regards other points that you judge as "inferior", or "awkward". Because if you look at it, there is no need to feel uncomfortable. It is something you allow within yourself based on certain thoughts you have (which you have to check out).

The other part is being afraid of the unknown, or things you dont know about. Placing it as superior to yourself and letting fear direct you. And fear in your life, will indeed paralyze you, make you become stiff and uncaring, not taking chances and staying within the safe zone. Or running from challenges.

After waking, I am still a bit scared and in fear, I am thinking about it and trying to put it in a con-text. And as I am accepting and allowing my mind to do that, it comes up with a sort of conspiracy theory or idea that some alien being was trying to take over my body. As I am thinking about that, I become more and more panicky and afraid, and as this is happening I realize that I am also beginning to breathe heavier and heavier, and through the breathing I am then able to calm myself and get out of my minds ideas and con-structs, and thus stop my fear and anxiety.

And by moving yourself, you can regain self-direction and actually start moving again. Which is what we have to do within our lives when facing the things we fear.

Dream

Oh my fucking god I just got into a fight where I killed my father. It was a dream and somehow my father and I got into a fight about rattlesnakes. I was talking about how cool they were or something and my father starts saying “stay away from snakes” and I’m like “that’s not the point” and my father interprets that as “you’re wrong” and “refuses to re-consider” and resists that in himself by saying “no I’m right, you’re wrong, you stay away from snakes”-- and then suddenly “I am the one who is wrong” and I am suddenly copying my father-- then we’re fighting-- it got to a point where my father attacked me- he came at me in single-minded, focused fury and punched me right in the throat- we fought, and in the fighting my father took a picture of me and my sister as infants and punched each of the images in the throat- it left a little mark on each of the pictures where we had been hit in the throat. Like, as if by attacking the photo he was attacking us. I then broke both my father’s wrists and punched him in the throat and killed him. I was not expecting my father to die, but when he did not get up I thought that he was dead. He was in his underwear. It had been very hard to hurt him because his body was so much bigger than me. I was fearful about getting in trouble for killing him, so I was relieved to have the “photo that he had attacked”- because it seemed to me like this was proof of the depravity of my father’s behavior and would justify to others what I had done. (oddly, the photo was not like “a family photo- it was like “a magazine catalouge”- the background was a solid blue color, and my sister and I as infants were side-by-side as if we were each a separate image placed next to each other to model (each of us) a pair of infant-underwear. There were 4 images that my father “attacked/ marked” in total- I only mentioned the two earlier because that was all I was certain of. I think there was an image of my mother involved in that somehow. Like one of the two other images was of her as a teenager.) -My father “attacking me”: This is a clear reference to a time when my father punched me in the sternum onetme. His “focused fury” in the dream is a clear and direct recreation of that incident when he attacked me like that. I have thought to myself in the past: “Well at least it was in the sternum. Maybe he didn’t really even want to hurt me because he hit me in the ‘most guarded spot’ on my body. -When practicing martial arts, several months later and much more recently, I have practiced striking at the throat; I always imagine myself attacking someone much bigger than me and the throat/ neck is an easy place to guarantee instant damage. -Apparently I am attacking my father when I practice martial arts. I have not noticed that before. I remember the moment where I first started to lift weights/ workout/ bodybuild- I remember what I was seeing with my eyes and what I was thinking: I was looking at these double doors in my mother’s house- and I was thinking “Should I do this? Isn’t it really self-absorbed, arrogant and insecure? Should I really go into this?” --what “made up my mind” was the thought of “me being able to “beat back” my father if he ever hit me again.” Self-pity and self-infatuation got me and I went into it, resulting later on in significant eating disorders.

Perspective

So in essence in the dream you're fighting against yourself as the idea and belief you're still holding and not actually self forgiving of yourself towards your father - a pointer to understand when one has been abused by parents is to realize that they certainly don't know what they are/were doing, they were programmed to do that and we have to self forgive unconditionally to actually let go. What I see in this dream about killing is not so much the idea of actually having 'him' dead but finally killing that idea/belief you are still holding a grudge on to as your father - which has been a constant dwelling throughout your process - and I say 'which' because it's simply the entire point he represents: you fighting against you as everything that you judge about him is also ourselves - anything we judge about others is us as well - hence the importance of self forgive and let go. The 'Letting Go' is the death part - finally having the opportunity to get rid of it, to end the constant battle against yourself as the idea you've held against your father and that's it.

Rattle snake reminded me of the animal support stuff back then wherein I had that 'animal support' and Bernard described it as 'Rattling the cages of the caged' which means actually daring to get ourselves out of our self-created jail - your father has become that point of limitation which keeps you locked in to your entire self-definition. Hence the coolness of this dream wherein you can simply say I am able to do this through stopping my eternal grudge against my father and stand up clear, self forgive and let go.

From here I suggest looking at where and how you could still be directing points in your world 'just to not be like your father' which is what ALL human beings go around thinking as constant ingrained fear of 'not becoming like our parents'. So this time, we have to literally simply let go of that preprogrammed link of father-son and the conflict of becoming them to realize we are definitely able and capable of directing ourselves to become that which is best for all and not continuing the same patterns - which in resisting them would simply fuel the entire point so you would then in fact end up becoming like him/ or anyone else for that matter that you could contain information from.

So that's about acting in Self-Direction, Self-Will to not simply act out of spitefulness, vengeance or opposition which is only creating the polarity and thus perpetuating the same bs.

"so for all the words I will speak its really useless because I'm not placing the words with the intention to support myself in living practicallity, but am just "entrenching' myself in this energetic personality-machine so I can delude myself into believing I am separate from and protected from these forms of energetic abuse (self-judgment, fear, inferiority, supression, superiority, justification, denial, delusion, dishonesty) I am allowing to exist as myself"

See how you KNOW what you are doing yet you still believe yourself to not be capable of seeing this for yourself. I can assure you you are aware of what I just wrote above, it's just a matter of living it - as we've discussed previously as well.

So stop entrenching yourself in this self-belief of not being able to support yourself and simply continuing deluding yourself. So see how you say 'believe yourself to be protected' - we only require protection when we are already accepting the fear as ourselves - thus realize that you are doing within that the same as 'resisting becoming like your father', just acting out the constant polarity in friction which ends up simply in you locking yourself down in those actual judgments, suppressions, justifications etc. You allow it, now it's simply time to let go of them.

That's how Death means Re-Birth as well - re-birthing yourself now without the entire huge-ghost that you've created of your father - ghost because it's simply the ideal you've kept of him holding you down.

I'd say the day you stop seeing your father as your eternal enemy, you'll start seeing how obvious it is that you have only been fighting yourself, that you can actually stop and start from scratch building yourself now without having that constant pre-configuration of the family construct -specifically related to father - loaded as 'who you are'.

We can only fight ourselves, we can only spite ourselves, we can only abuse ourselves when believing to be antagonizing anything/anyone.

Dream with Self-forgiveness

Dream

I dreamed that my brother hit a disabled woman with his car and that he tried to escape his responsibility. I told him that it was unacceptable and that he had to face the consequences. A commotion broke out and people started to fight in the streets completely possessed. My mother jumped into a car and started fighting with a woman, pulling her hair and what not. I pulled them apart and told them that they were demon possessed. I looked into my mothers eyes and I saw her changing between a demon form and her human form and I told her to breathe. I started laughing and became possessed myself making gruesome faces. I felt strangely enough free within this demon expression, but also quite frightened and out of control. I snapped out and took a deep breath in and out, and I said to myself "I have to focus on myself, I can't save my mother". Then I was chased by demons as they recognized me as not being possessed and I tried to hide in abandoned houses.

Forgiveness

So, what the dream told me is most prominently:

• 1. a fear of becoming possessed
• 2. a fear that my family members will become possessed
• 3. a fear of being exposed to and harmed by possessed beings
• 4. a desire to save my family
• 5. a desire to become possessed

Self Forgiveness

1. I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear becoming demon possessed I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see/realize that I can't be demon possessed if I don't allow it I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear facing myself as a demon I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that anything can possess me if I stick to breathing I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear losing myself I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I as physical here-ness can be lost I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear my anger I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to lose myself in anger I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I deal with my anger if I suppress it I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to suppress my anger instead of forgiving myself I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see/realize that fear is a form of demon possession in itself I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to become possessed with fear of demons I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear myself

2. I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear that my brother will become demon possessed

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear that my mother will become demon possessed I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear that my father will become demon possessed I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear losing my family members within them becoming demon possessed I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear standing alone I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to assume that my brother, mother and father have no self-control I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear facing my mother as a demon I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear facing my father as a demon I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear facing my brother as a demon I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear my brothers anger I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear my fathers anger I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear my mothers anger I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear rinding the car when my brother is driving I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see/realize that my fear is related to memories of my family members road rages and thus lack physical substance

3. I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear getting in the way of a being possessed with anger/hate/rage

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear the anger of others I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be in a constant alert mode in fear of being hurt by possessed beings in public I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear my neighbor and thus sustaining and maintaining the current system of fear and self-interest

4. I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to want to save my family

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I can save my family I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear assisting my family within clear and practical common sense because of fear of being ridiculed I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear being ridiculed by my family I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to ridicule myself I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that my family is special and worth saving within wanting to save them

5. I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to desire being demon possessed

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be tempted by the demonic I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I would be free if I became a demon I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to want to abdicate my responsibility within becoming demon possessed