Dreams
Sleeping and Dreaming, what is it?
In this section we give the Destonian perspective on sleeping and dreaming. We outline this perspective from a variety of angles: interdimensional beings, Bernard Poolman's interviews, Sunette, and other Destonians who have contributed to the content of this page.
On Sleeping
Understand the following: That you as a being as 'life essence' as who you are of life does not require sleep and does not sleep - an example of this is interdimensional beings. Anyone ever considered the question: Why human beings sleep but interdimensional beings do not sleep...?
Sleeping is also pre-programmed within and as the mind consciousness system within human beings - when you 'sleep' this is when the mind consciousness system 'regenerates' and'rejuvenates' itself in preparation for 'another day' when you'll be 'actively participating' as a mind consciousness system within this world as the unified consciousness field. Thus, the mind consciousness system will 'while you're asleep' 'dig into' and 'submerge' itself into the subconscious and unconscious mind to allocate memory banks, thoughts, past experiences etc. to merge / rise / install within your conscious mind, so when you participate within your daily 'life experience' you'll have a 'new fresh set of thoughts / thoughts patterns' to pre-occupy you with.
The 'sleep stages' are actually where you submerge you within yourself, while your mind submerges you and takes you 'with it' from the conscious mind, into the subconscious mind straight through to the unconscious mind (your deep sleep), see the mind takes you with it, because it cannot exist without you, and the mind can only take you on this journey through the mind stages to rejuvenate and regenerate when you're 'asleep' so you don't actually know this is really happening. Thus,'sleeping' is an automated constructed system within and as your mind consciousness system to 'keep it going' - to 'keep you going' as a mind consciousness system. This is where dreaming takes place. Dreams were the diversion for human beings to not actually see/experience/understand what really happens when they dream in any way whatsoever. You 'think' you're dreaming but your mind system is actually taking you on its journey through the mind stages into the unconscious mind, to 'dig' and 'search' for thought patterns / behaviors / system alignments from the 'global unconscious as the unified consciousness field', to install [these] within you, to 'implant' within you, to 'pre-occupy' you through another day, and so this continues every evening you sleep - this is the procedure that takes place. Then when you wake up all 'groggy' it's you together with the mind as the mind, rising up from within the unconscious to the subconscious to the conscious, when you're 'awake' you're fully / completely within and as the conscious mind. The reason why the world says 8 - 9 hours sleep is because the entire procedure takes 8 - 9 hours for full completion: installation and implantation of unconscious mind manifestations to be infused within and as your own mind consciousness system.
On Dreaming
Though, what we have done with regards to dreams is the following, instead of you going within and as your own mind journey through the mind stages - we've compressed all three mind stages to one singular point within you as you where we 'brought together everything and all of you to one singular point within the mind as all three mind stages'. Thus, when you sleep, you don't submerge anymore, but is placed within this one singular point, where dreams are inserted which assist and support you within the current point placement of yourself within your process - thus - dreams now assist and support you with regards to where you are in your process currently - the 'point' of you within yourself.
That is why we suggest only 4 - 6 hours sleep, this is all you require, because if you sleep longer than this, you'll move beyond this point placement of you within you and submerge with your mind into the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind. Thus you giving your mind the opportunity to regenerate and rejuvenate itself by installing and implanting manifestation within you from other human beings in this world through the unconscious mind unified field connection / interconnection - and have experiences / reactions within you - that's not even of you - but believe to be you, then the moment you believe it to be you - you make it your own - and thus so ingrain the reactions/behaviors within and as your own mind consciousness system. 4 - 6 Hours sleep is sufficient - it's all your human physical body requires because then it's not sleep per say - but resting your human physical body for a moment. It will take some diligence to 're-set' yourself to only sleep 4 - 6 hours a day - though each have the will to do this.
Will do the self forgiveness list as well - though - here for the moment diligence and discipline to only sleep for 4 - 6 hours maximum.
Dreams as Reality? Discover yourself in Dreams
Understand that the Dream-Reality is no different to the Physical-Reality, because in both Realities a Being's experience is exactly the same, because the Being exist as the Mind, and experience themselves as and through the Mind within both the Dream-Reality and the Physical-Reality. In essence what I’m stating here is that Beings are not actually really existing in and as the Physical-Reality, we’re existing in the Mind, separate from the Physical. In essence, [we are]always existing within a ‘Dream-World’ of sorts as the Illusions of and as our own Mind. Thus, the Dream-World, in terms of the experience of the Mind as you is the ‘real-Reality’, as the Mind’s own reality of itself as our ‘real-Reality’ –in reality – the Physical do not actually exist for us, all we’re always experiencing is ourselves as and of the Mind [which is] not actually the Physical Here. I, Chief – have taken responsibility for and as the Point of Dreams – finding practical ways/methods with which to utilize Dreams,in assisting and supporting the Being in their Process of Self-Realization as the Physical equal and one Here. (...) Dreams are now directly related to Self and Self alone, and will reflect suppression/secrets/denials/desires etc. as parts of Self that Self has separated Self from to, through Dreams see the Truth of Self directly to from/through Dreams assist and support Self within the Process of Self-Corrective-Action within Self-honest Self-Forgiveness. And stop, stand-up and change/transform Self in every moment of breath as you participate in this world in Walking the Principle of Equality and Oneness as Life.
In this: ‘short-circuiting’ one’s Process so that you don’t have to go through more events/ experiences within your world as manifested-Consequence to be able to see the Truth of you and then only change/Stand-up – which could take weeks, months even years to ‘play-out’ – dependent on the severity of the self-definition as a particular point of Mind.(...) A suggestion, also – is that one do not ‘define Self according to/as dreams’ – otherwise, one will accept and allow self-limitation within that definition. Simply realize/understand that dreams simply reflect/reveal parts of Self that Self has accepted and allowed Self to separate Self from. Thus, it is to investigate the Dream-Self-Revelation self-honestly; change/transform Self in Living-application and Unconditionally let the point as the Dream go. For even within holding onto a dream within Self, hold Self to that dream, enslaved to that dream – then Self cannot move Here – because Self is stuck in/as a Dream-Reality past-memory-Moment. (Transcribed from Bernard Poolman's interview "Dreams as Reality? Discover yourself in Dreams")
Self-Forgiveness
Overview
Dreams: Self Forgiveness of/for Interpretation through Knowledge
Step 1: Whenever you are interpreting – you are using the Mind and you’re using knowledge you already have or things you have already captured through your photographic capturing system called the eyes. Capturing a lot more than what you’re consciously seeing and use that within you interpretations to make sense of your reality.
Unconditional forgiveness is the key – do not try and understand knowledge or interpretations – because you were not present when you captured the images. Therefore – unconditionally let them go – then you look again – unconditional self forgiveness on everything.
When you are structuring your forgiveness in sentences – for instance – I forgive myself that I have allowed myself...then you follow the words in sequence – as you would literally physically rub out or erase the geometrical form of the pictured interpretation. This is done that your forgiveness in words – is actual physical space-time related as you have interpreted and accepted your space-time reality according to the pictures that reflects in your mind as your observations. (posted by Sunette)
On Sleeping
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I need and must have sufficient sleep otherwise if I don't - I'll be tired
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on sleep
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that 'lack of sleep' exist - and that if I were to 'lack sleep' - I will be tired
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define 'lack of sleep' to tiredness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that tiredness exist
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that tiredness is an idea / belief designed of the mind, accepted and allowed as 'normal' due to 'lack of sleep'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sleeping 8 - 9 hours or more is healthy for my human physical body
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define sleeping as healthy
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize, see or understand that sleeping is a system the mind system use to alter / change / update itself - while / during I am unconscious
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use / abuse sleep as an escape from my reality, manipulating the reason and cause for sleeping through 'making it sound acceptable' through believing sleeping 8 - 9 hours or more is healthy
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sleep as a method of hiding from self responsibility and facing myself within and as my reality in every moment as the moment as the breath
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the body only requires rest for a maximum of 6 hours - and that's it
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the mind is the directive principle of me - as it has the ability to induce perceptual tiredness, which is the mind consciousness systems' 'signal / sign' that it requires regeneration and rejuvenation - which is done through sleeping 8 - 9 hours or more
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that tiredness and sleep exist within the mind of the mind - it is not who I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed, influenced and controlled by the mind - through it informing me when it's 'tired', then using me to 'sleep' while it rejuvenates and regenerates and replenishes itself as it takes me on the journey through my subconscious and unconscious mind - to 'allocate' manifestations to pre-occupy me during another day while I'm 'awake'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to use me - I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that abuse exist within self, through accepting and allowing myself to be abused by the mind - and because I accept / allow this within me - I accept / allow this within the rest of the world as me
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that 'sleeping' and 'awake' is also polarity manifestations of the mind - I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that it's the mind that sleeps and it's the mind that wakes up and thus - that I have never really lived
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself realize that the 'normalcy' of sleeping 8 - 9 hours a day is accepted and allowed by all of humanity within and of the unified consciousness field because it's the exact amount of time the mind requires to allocate manifestations within the unconscious mind, then to merge them into the conscious mind as the mind 'wakes' - I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the manifestations merged into the conscious mind, extracted from the unconscious mind is of the unified consciousness field from other human beings - yet - the moment I believe a thought to be me, as me, - I make such manifestations my own and in this moment - I infuse other human beings' thought patterned behaviors / habits within and as the mind consciousness system that exist within me - and thus such manifestations become me
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the mind is 'at work' while I 'sleep' - conjuring and gathering manifestations of any and all kinds, extracted from the unconscious mind - to merge into my conscious mind, so I believe that such manifestations to be me, because it exists in my mind - and so the mind consciousness system within me 'upgrades itself' every evening I 'sleep'
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that dreams are used by the mind consciousness system to divert my attention while I sleep to not actually understand / know what's really going on while I sleep - therefore - dreams were meaningless
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am exist as thoughts, feelings and emotions - needing 'lots of sleep' for a 'healthy life'
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that 'lots of sleep' 8 - 9 hours or more - is healthy for the mind consciousness system within me as that which I have accepted and allowed myself to become
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that 'the difficulty of waking up in the mornings' is my emergence as the mind from the unconscious, to the subconscious to the conscious mind - which 'takes a while' - then when I'm 'awake' and 'up' - it's actually me as the conscious mind, actively participating within and of the unified consciousness field
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define who I am as sleep / sleeping
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define who I am as tired / tiredness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the pre-occupation and attention diversion of the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions to not accept or allow myself to experience myself as the breath of life as the moment - here as who I am
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that who I am is the breath as the breath as the moment - here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe/think that if I sleep 'less than' I usually do - I will be tired the next morning - instead of realizing that I am designing the very experience of tiredness in the morning through the perceptual belief/idea that less sleep equals tiredness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the idea/belief of 'less sleep than I usually have' equals tiredness the next morning - which influence the experience of me within and throughout the entire day - instead of remaining here as the breath as me in every moment
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to wake up in the morning as the breath as me as the moment as me
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that it's the mind that struggles to wake up in the mornings - as it merges with me as me from the unconscious mind to the subconscious mind to the conscious mind - where it eventually later 'wakes up' completely
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that in the mornings when I open my eyes and I accept / allow myself to participate in one singular thought - I 'activate' all the workings / findings / manifestations the mind retrieved and obtained within the unconscious mind while I was being pre-occupied through dreams - referred to as sleeping - and then allow / accept all such manifestations to infuse within me as me - and thus become such manifestations as thought patterns and behaviors within and of the unified consciousness field.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that sleeping is literal sleep - the complete submerge of me, as the mind does it's work - because I as who I am is not aware
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that 'awakening' and 'awake' that exist within and of the unified consciousness field - is the 'awake' and 'awakening' of the mind in it's entirety - that it's not to be awake - but to live practically as who I am which is here as the moment as the breath as me - because for 'awake / awakening' to exist - 'sleep / sleeping' must exist - the 'awake/awakening' for the mind of the mind and the 'sleep / sleeping' for me of me, disappearing into the background within myself until I no longer exist and only the mind as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become exist as me.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I have always been asleep - the actual sleeping of me as the manifested experience thereof is proof - as the mind exists always, the mind is always active - and thus proof that I have never actually practically lived before as who I am as the breath as the moment as me
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I have never actually practically lived as who I am as the breath as the moment as me - but that I have always accepted and allowed the mind to control / direct and influence me through believing and perceiving that who I am is thoughts/feelings and emotions
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to separate myself from the human physical body of life - from the breath - not realizing that breath is life as me nurturing the expression and manifestation of life as the human physical body as me - I am breath - I am human physical body - I am here - I am moment
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be submerged within and as myself through allowing and accepting myself to be and become the mind consciousness system - because I have believed the lie that I need to be and become the mind consciousness system to survive and exist within and as the unified consciousness field
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become the mind consciousness system - to be of thoughts, feelings and emotions - because it's what and who everyone else has become as those that have gone before me which I have believed and trusted to be 'my example' -instead of realizing I am the unconditional innocence of self expression of life that exist as the moment as the breath of life as me - the simplicity of practical living exist here as the moment as the breath within and as oneness and equality as the human physical body as the manifestation of life as life of me as me
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I am simplicity
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I am breath as life of life as me
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the very manifestation of creation as me of life within and as oneness and equality is here as the human physical body of the breath of life as me
Practical Dream Assessment
Dream about body part
I just remembered one more dream that left me feeling strange. I know a lot has been written about dreams already and i'm starting to understand the function they fulfill as assisting: i can't remember the whole dream, I just remember the end bit, where I ended up jumping into this huge barrel or metal container. It was white in colour and there was loads of millet inside, my partner was with me, and it was awfully moist inside. Then I took off one of my shoes because I felt a strange grinding, feeling and I discovered a whole bunch of white larva-wormish things eating into the sole of my foot....it was disgusting, so I tried to wipe them off, trying to pull them out of the holes they were making in the sole of my foot, i got all out but one and that one went in deeper so i couldn't get hold of it, all i could feel was the grinding feeling of sth eating on my flesh and with that feeling I woke up and I had to actually check my foot because it felt so real. was really strange.......... that came to my mind now, was that the worms/larva were the system, the mind trying to get in deeper into me and i'm trying to wipe it off, out of self, myself.
Perspective
The dream with the worms/larva is actually a manifested fear that you have of 'being eaten while you are still alive' - what I would suggest here is to have a look at the description of the dream again and apply self forgiveness for the experience of you within the dream - and of the fear of 'being eaten while you're still alive' - of being in a situation and 'your life is out of your hands'. This done, to release yourself from the fear manifested connection your mind has of 'being eaten while you're still alive' and 'your life being out of your hands'.
It also 'links' with the fear of not 'being in control' of you and you world - the fear of 'freedom of self expression' - 'freedom of self expression' exists in every moment you live self honesty - but human beings 'tend to' want to control their world and themselves according to how their mind has been designed by preferences, which gives off the illusion of stability and strength. Here I suggest self forgiveness on 'wanting' and desiring to control you and your world according the mind's preference and design, and also on defining control and stability and strength. Applying / living self control is not allowing / accepting yourself to participate in this mind - but stop immediately when you realise that you're in the mind and to apply self forgiveness.
Yes - as you said, it is the mind 'grinding' deeper into you as you through utelizing fears that exist within you - which you believe and perceive yourself to be, though, fear is a design of the mind as emotion and not who you really are.
Here is a self forgiveness list on Control and Fear:
Control: http://desteni.org/a/veno-self-forgiveness-self-control
Fear: http://desteni.org/a/veno-self-forgiveness-fear
Dream on surviving
Before having a vivid dream this morning, I dreamt that I was late for a train. As I was late I accepted and allowed myself to feel afraid of the con-sequences and thus I gave control to the mind. My mind then proceeded to try and solve the problem by hijacking a bus, which had passengers. I don't quite remember what I did to the bus-driver, but I either hurt and/or became him in a way, at least that's the sort of sensation I can remember. Then I proceeded with hazardous driving on the freeway.
Then there was a transition to another dream.
In this dream I am with a few friends. We're hanging out, like you normally do, and one of my friends has brought his cousin along. For some reason he is not very capable of speaking and he tries to show me something, when this happens the mind wanders and I feel a bit uncomfortable about the communication difficulty. He proceeds to show me something a bit like throwing a rope, and then I get the image of a boat. I think, 'oh, he wants to show me his boat'. Then there is a dock and water and he he points my attention to the water, where I see something or rather someone. As I'm trying to make it out through the ripples of the water, the surface transitions from being horizontal to vertical, and the water with the being in it is coming closer and closer, and I start to feel amazed and a bit more uncomfortable. At this point my friend's cousin has disappeared and I look to the side to see if my friend's are there, I see one and I try to yell to him and point at the being in the water to make him notice, but he is asleep. Then I am starting to feel a bit more panicky and I proceed to try and shake him and call his name but he is very unconscious. Then I look back to the being in the water and by now it's only a few meters in front of me and trying to show me something or communicate, but I don't quite understand and I become more afraid and want to run away, but at this point I am paralyzed and facing the being. As I look at the being it's features are sort of changing in the ripples of the water, it sort of has some of the same features as me. By then I am very much in a state of panic and fear because of being unable to move and run, and I do my best to try and wriggle or shake and yell to my friend. Then as I am slowly regaining control and movement, I slowly wake up in my bed...
After waking, I am still a bit scared and in fear, I am thinking about it and trying to put it in a con-text. And as I am accepting and allowing my mind to do that, it comes up with a sort of conspiracy theory or idea that some alien being was trying to take over my body. As I am thinking about that, I become more and more panicky and afraid, and as this is happening I realize that I am also beginning to breathe heavier and heavier, and through the breathing I am then able to calm myself and get out of my minds ideas and con-structs, and thus stop my fear and anxiety.
Perspective
What this dream shows is that you can place your self-interest first in survival situations (possibly other situations as well). Where your ass is on the line, or when there is a personal risk involved - you are willing to project yourself in a superior position and disregard the rest. That is what the example of the bus would show. Then you proceed to drive hazardous on the freeway = risking others (the common good) for your own self interest (getting somewhere on time). Letting fear move you to do things that are not best for all.
Being uncomfortable with someone who is not very well in communicating, shows your own uncomfortability within yourself, which you would feel when you perceive yourself to for example not communicate effectively. Or this can be regards other points that you judge as "inferior", or "awkward". Because if you look at it, there is no need to feel uncomfortable. It is something you allow within yourself based on certain thoughts you have (which you have to check out).
The other part is being afraid of the unknown, or things you dont know about. Placing it as superior to yourself and letting fear direct you. And fear in your life, will indeed paralyze you, make you become stiff and uncaring, not taking chances and staying within the safe zone. Or running from challenges.
After waking, I am still a bit scared and in fear, I am thinking about it and trying to put it in a con-text. And as I am accepting and allowing my mind to do that, it comes up with a sort of conspiracy theory or idea that some alien being was trying to take over my body. As I am thinking about that, I become more and more panicky and afraid, and as this is happening I realize that I am also beginning to breathe heavier and heavier, and through the breathing I am then able to calm myself and get out of my minds ideas and con-structs, and thus stop my fear and anxiety.
And by moving yourself, you can regain self-direction and actually start moving again. Which is what we have to do within our lives when facing the things we fear.
Dream about father
Oh my fucking god I just got into a fight where I killed my father. It was a dream and somehow my father and I got into a fight about rattlesnakes. I was talking about how cool they were or something and my father starts saying “stay away from snakes” and I’m like “that’s not the point” and my father interprets that as “you’re wrong” and “refuses to re-consider” and resists that in himself by saying “no I’m right, you’re wrong, you stay away from snakes”-- and then suddenly “I am the one who is wrong” and I am suddenly copying my father-- then we’re fighting-- it got to a point where my father attacked me- he came at me in single-minded, focused fury and punched me right in the throat- we fought, and in the fighting my father took a picture of me and my sister as infants and punched each of the images in the throat- it left a little mark on each of the pictures where we had been hit in the throat. Like, as if by attacking the photo he was attacking us. I then broke both my father’s wrists and punched him in the throat and killed him. I was not expecting my father to die, but when he did not get up I thought that he was dead. He was in his underwear. It had been very hard to hurt him because his body was so much bigger than me. I was fearful about getting in trouble for killing him, so I was relieved to have the “photo that he had attacked”- because it seemed to me like this was proof of the depravity of my father’s behavior and would justify to others what I had done. (oddly, the photo was not like “a family photo- it was like “a magazine catalouge”- the background was a solid blue color, and my sister and I as infants were side-by-side as if we were each a separate image placed next to each other to model (each of us) a pair of infant-underwear. There were 4 images that my father “attacked/ marked” in total- I only mentioned the two earlier because that was all I was certain of. I think there was an image of my mother involved in that somehow. Like one of the two other images was of her as a teenager.) -My father “attacking me”: This is a clear reference to a time when my father punched me in the sternum onetme. His “focused fury” in the dream is a clear and direct recreation of that incident when he attacked me like that. I have thought to myself in the past: “Well at least it was in the sternum. Maybe he didn’t really even want to hurt me because he hit me in the ‘most guarded spot’ on my body. -When practicing martial arts, several months later and much more recently, I have practiced striking at the throat; I always imagine myself attacking someone much bigger than me and the throat/ neck is an easy place to guarantee instant damage. -Apparently I am attacking my father when I practice martial arts. I have not noticed that before. I remember the moment where I first started to lift weights/ workout/ bodybuild- I remember what I was seeing with my eyes and what I was thinking: I was looking at these double doors in my mother’s house- and I was thinking “Should I do this? Isn’t it really self-absorbed, arrogant and insecure? Should I really go into this?” --what “made up my mind” was the thought of “me being able to “beat back” my father if he ever hit me again.” Self-pity and self-infatuation got me and I went into it, resulting later on in significant eating disorders.
Perspective
So in essence in the dream you're fighting against yourself as the idea and belief you're still holding and not actually self forgiving of yourself towards your father - a pointer to understand when one has been abused by parents is to realize that they certainly don't know what they are/were doing, they were programmed to do that and we have to self forgive unconditionally to actually let go. What I see in this dream about killing is not so much the idea of actually having 'him' dead but finally killing that idea/belief you are still holding a grudge on to as your father - which has been a constant dwelling throughout your process - and I say 'which' because it's simply the entire point he represents: you fighting against you as everything that you judge about him is also ourselves - anything we judge about others is us as well - hence the importance of self forgive and let go. The 'Letting Go' is the death part - finally having the opportunity to get rid of it, to end the constant battle against yourself as the idea you've held against your father and that's it.
Rattle snake reminded me of the animal support stuff back then wherein I had that 'animal support' and Bernard described it as 'Rattling the cages of the caged' which means actually daring to get ourselves out of our self-created jail - your father has become that point of limitation which keeps you locked in to your entire self-definition. Hence the coolness of this dream wherein you can simply say I am able to do this through stopping my eternal grudge against my father and stand up clear, self forgive and let go.
From here I suggest looking at where and how you could still be directing points in your world 'just to not be like your father' which is what ALL human beings go around thinking as constant ingrained fear of 'not becoming like our parents'. So this time, we have to literally simply let go of that preprogrammed link of father-son and the conflict of becoming them to realize we are definitely able and capable of directing ourselves to become that which is best for all and not continuing the same patterns - which in resisting them would simply fuel the entire point so you would then in fact end up becoming like him/ or anyone else for that matter that you could contain information from.
So that's about acting in Self-Direction, Self-Will to not simply act out of spitefulness, vengeance or opposition which is only creating the polarity and thus perpetuating the same bs.
"so for all the words I will speak its really useless because I'm not placing the words with the intention to support myself in living practicallity, but am just "entrenching' myself in this energetic personality-machine so I can delude myself into believing I am separate from and protected from these forms of energetic abuse (self-judgment, fear, inferiority, supression, superiority, justification, denial, delusion, dishonesty) I am allowing to exist as myself"
See how you KNOW what you are doing yet you still believe yourself to not be capable of seeing this for yourself. I can assure you you are aware of what I just wrote above, it's just a matter of living it - as we've discussed previously as well.
So stop entrenching yourself in this self-belief of not being able to support yourself and simply continuing deluding yourself. So see how you say 'believe yourself to be protected' - we only require protection when we are already accepting the fear as ourselves - thus realize that you are doing within that the same as 'resisting becoming like your father', just acting out the constant polarity in friction which ends up simply in you locking yourself down in those actual judgments, suppressions, justifications etc. You allow it, now it's simply time to let go of them.
That's how Death means Re-Birth as well - re-birthing yourself now without the entire huge-ghost that you've created of your father - ghost because it's simply the ideal you've kept of him holding you down.
I'd say the day you stop seeing your father as your eternal enemy, you'll start seeing how obvious it is that you have only been fighting yourself, that you can actually stop and start from scratch building yourself now without having that constant pre-configuration of the family construct -specifically related to father - loaded as 'who you are'.
We can only fight ourselves, we can only spite ourselves, we can only abuse ourselves when believing to be antagonizing anything/anyone.
Dream on drugs
I have had a couple dreams were I have been smoking weed in my dreams and I can't remember specifics of the dreams just that I was smoking weed. I also woke up with morning wood. So I remember in the dream I was in a big parking lot by a fast-food place. With a couple of friends from my past, and eventually we got inside one of the fast food places and it was like this chill lounge. I remember there was someone having sex on the couch under a large blanket. Also I don't remember eating a cookie in the dream and I have been staying away from sugary stuff lately. I can't remember when I smoked weed in the dream all I remember is the feeling of being ashamed that I had smoked it. Also when I woke up it was very relieving to know that it was just a dream. Ok, I remember kind of what happened it was like I got possessed in my dream and smoked weed then after I had done it, I was like WTF why did I do that?
And all I remember in regards to smoking weed in the dream is that I sat down and smoked my brains out then afterwards I regretted it. I was Jealous of the experience the couple was having. I think the weed thing has something to do with a toxic dream. I went to rehab when I was 17 and almost all the people there would have dreams of the drugs they used to take.
Perspective
Yep, dreams support in bringing out the points that we are suppressing and/or showing where we are still holding 'back doors' wherein we could have desires that are rather hidden or not looked at and worked upon while being awake.
So the point is to equalize yourself and act in congruence with what you are living with open eyes - so that asleep and awake you remain you applying yourself in any given situation. If one 'fall' for a point in the dream then we simply know we have to see what is it that we are not considering, not looking at or suppressing. See the reactions you had what led you to 'give in', what was the experience afterwards, what ideas, experiences came up when seeing the couple having sex - etc. After all it's not that it is bad desiring having sex - and desiring to smoke weed, it's simply about the principle we're walking and thus you've probably read and watch material around sex and how to practically handle that point. Then with weed we are aware is a no-go for us taking a point of self-commitment and discipline to face ourselves - that's it.
This has been and still is for me one of the most important Realizations. Because it was only when I realized that the mind was not bad, that I was not bad, that what I did was not bad or good that I could start to actually Trust and Support myself. I am still working with this.
What I saw was that every time I judged myself before getting to the point of Self-Forgiveness in Self-Honesty (letting "myself" as that point go) - I had created an extra unnecessary process with the Self-Judgment that now caused me to suppress, deny, self-deceive or feel self-pity when from the beginning all that was required, was that I Faced myself in Self-Honesty and Self-Forgiveness Walking the Correction of letting myself as that point go.
So what has assisted me to remember for myself is that - We've never known or lived ourselves as anyone but the fuckers that we've allowed ourselves to become, we've already fucked everything up thoroughly so there is nothing to lose, no pride to lose within simply facing ourselves in Self-Honesty and allowing ourselves to Forgive ourselves so that we can Stop, Release, Let go and Start anew Purified and Self-Directive, Living Here, in Dignity and Equality.
Yes as we actually build those habits in time, we took "time and dedication" to them which then will take the same dedication to let go of it so, that's in essence walking the consequences of having allowed ourselves to be dependent on a drug or anything else for that matter.
With regards to desiring sex - see that what I mean by it is normal is within the physical-context of requiring sex. Obviously the moment it becomes a mind-addiction then you know it's no longer 'normal' and requires direction - yet the sex-point requires an effective and practical approach that we can take on to support ourselves - agreements are suggested here as you might already know and if not, suggest you investigate upon that as well as all the interviews and documents on sex, relationships, agreements, masturbation etc of which there are tons which will certainly allow you to expand the self forgiveness to an actual seeing of what such desire is and represents.
So, suggest to take point by point as they go emerging for you to start working on = take it easy.
And reading Anna's reply - we can simply make of sex a point of self support, not a point of self abuse and to walk it as a point of self expression instead of it being a mind obsession. That requires practical application which I suggest you take on once you've walked alone as yourself to get yourself stable in terms of applying yourself and getting to that self-direction in self honesty required to then, expand on to other points.
Dream on asserting oneself
I was dreaming of telling people off, saying things to people very directly- assertively to my mother, father, sister, son's girlfriend etc. the words I say stay in the memory all day such as "I know what your doing, yes such n such I can see what you are doing...very clever" or "don't you dare speak to me like that, I have had enough of this shit" Last night I dreamed I was in a dormitory, a strange place, in bed sleeping, half aware of strangers coming in mid way through the night and this man got into the bed next to mine. Even though I was "asleep" another part of me was watching him as though awake....he reached his hand over to pull the cover off my face and I woke up and in the pattern of all my dreams these nights I began to tell him off...and the words stayed with me, I was saying to him " Hey what are you doing, I was asleep! I was asleep....Why on earth would you wake up the one person who was successfully asleep ?"
Perspective
What I found within the dreams are points that I'm either not standing clear within myself yet meaning points that i'm back chatting during the day and not yet directed and thus remain "confuse" or points that assisting and supporting me with showing me through others what is that i believe i'm lacking. for example, when i dream about a person i ask myself, what this person symbolize/represent to me? What is that I'm jealous of? What is that i believe i can't do while the other can? Where is it that i experience myself as lacking?
What you are showing in your dream is your desire to stand up. is this where you believe you are lacking? Are you experiencing yourself as inferior to "mother, father, sister, son's girlfriend etc"? Because in your dream you project superiority and in 'reality' you are inferior to them so your dream shows you that you exist within and as a polarity of inferior/superior.
So what you can do is to expend on the dream within writing - describe also your experience after awaking up and facing the people that were on your dream. see if you are able to bring the dream/memory here and write - What it gives to self when standing up to those people, How do I feel when standing up to those people, how those it make me feel to NOT stand up to people and so on.
Dream with various elements
I came home from work and was a little bit tired and decided that i wanted to go to sleep for a while.
Then i started to dream, i dreamed first scene was i was in a car driving somewhere, and i am saying driving here, but it is more like someone is driving and i am all over the place, but yet i am driving in the mountains,and it looked cold, but didn't felt cold. Then it started to rain.
And the scene change, suddenly i was like in a bay. And there was a great bridge in the middle of the bay but the odd thing about the bridge is one could not see the beginning nor the end of the bridge, one just assume that is must be connected to some land somewhere. I can remember being all over this bay, and when i say all over i mean like in a hovering position, like i can see all things in different positions and can be everywhere at will. There was a bear that could talk and had a fishing line and was trying to fish but didn't know how. And i could see as he was playing with this line, a shark approaching, the great white shark. And it was a huge one, i mean really big. when looked from above, the position i was looking at all this, the body of that shark took the whole center of the bay, and the bay was big. And the shark just took the line in its mouth but on its face i could see and sense somehow, that it was somehow playing with this bear, but yet i felt afraid and the shark came out with halve its body on the water and i told the bear; 'look you got a shark on the line man..!!' Then i found myself on the beach with the bear and there was a young boy next to him and i can sense me being the young boy, but yet i am still in the hovering position. It's strange.
Then the dream changed again and i found myself looking at a stranger in a car driving and it felt like i was in a commercial, and it was about people who were talking about their experience of being in a foreign country and renting a car and just drive off and explore the place. But it felt strange because i could be in the car as well as out of the car and yet feel the warmth of being in the car when i am out the car, like i didn't left the man in the car but yet i am out, i could be wherever i wanted to be....in front of the car and in the back and above it, all while it is moving, i could go and see ahead what was lying ahead on the road, but yet i am with this man in this commercial like scene. And when the man talked to himself i could hear what he was saying within me, it is like me talking to myself, but yet i was not that man,it felt strange. everything was very personal, all the scenes in the dream..........how should i put it....?? i felt like i am all that the dream was, but yet i am not. And i was also aware of me being the observer in the dream, but couldn't get it, what the observer is, you feel things like you feel with your human body, but yet i just know that i have no body, i am just all over the place and can be everywhere all over the place at will.
And everything happened like at night,but yet the night was not really dark as usual, as one would consider a night moment to be, it was like foggy. Like it is on the brink of morning, the morning sunlight is coming but not yet, and there is this semi-darkness look to it.
So what does this dream tell me..??
In this dream i had the realization of the dream, or that dreams are me, this is clear to me now, this is exactly how it felt, that the dreams i dream are me, not that i am having dreams, but the whole dream is me, but yet there is this sense of me not being the dream, but this sense of me not being the dream is not clear, it is foggy...
Perspective
What I did with one of my latest dreams was to walk through it step by step I wrote out the sequences of the dream in lines on top of each other and also in a sequential order, because I realized that the sequences "occurred" as reactions to each other, same as within the mind with thoughts and reactions, yet within the dream manifested as "physical projection" as "symbols". That was Assisting me to see "who" I was within the dream as all the symbols represented there. Then I placed myself into each line - looking at what each symbol "represented" either to me personally or as "world symbol" that I had accepted as specifically symbolic. After that I wrote this all out meaning writing the dream out with this new understanding of the symbols that I had created within the dream. At last I did what is probably the most important and that has also been suggested here in the dream threads on the forum - which is to walk through the dream again and Correct and align myself to Self-Honesty, Common Sense and What is Best for All. The night after I had another dream wherein the same symbols were present, yet even more explicit, so after that I wrote a document about it and also Applied Self-Forgiveness on the points that came up.
Here is an example of how I would deconstruct the dream:
i was in a car - What does a car represent/represent to me? Who am I as a car? - so for example: How I see myself moving in my life/my process? - or is it car merely as "transportation" - How does this symbol relate to where I am at the moment?
driving somewhere like someone is driving - How do I experience that someone else is "driving me"? i am all over the place - How do I experience myself "all over the place" - in the dream and in my daily experiences of and as myself?) i am driving in the mountains - How do I see mountains? Does it represent "adventure"? or "climbing up"? What is it I am busy "climbing"? within the mind/my ideas/beliefs/self-definitions/experiences
it looked cold, but didn't felt cold - What does "cold" represent to me? How did I experience myself? it started to rain. What does rain represent? (for example in many dream-analysis water represents emotions
scene change - How do I see this scene change - How did I get from the first to the second scene? Did something happen in between? Is there a connection between the two scenes?
i was like in a bay - again water there was a great bridge in the middle of the bay - lol - "water over the bridge" - What does a bridge represent?
For example: If water is emotions, when what is the bridge? How am I "bridging" my emotions?
the odd thing - do you see it as not now observing the dream or in the dream? How did I experience the bridge? one could not see the beginning nor the end of the bridge one just assume that is must be connected to some land somewhere - Is it you observing the dream? Or in the dream?
being all over this bay like in a hovering position - What does it mean to be "in a hovering position" - how do I see myself being/doing this in my everyday life/in relation to this point?
i can see all things in different positions be everywhere at will - How do I experience this in the dream?
there was a bear that could talk - What does a bear represent? - Who am I as the bear? Do I have any associations to bears? had a fishing line - what does the fishing-line represent if the water is emotion? was trying to fish - What am I trying to do? didn't know how. - What is it I experience that I don't know how to do?
...and so forth. And then after I have answered this for myself. I write the new context of my understanding of "who" I am within the dream.
"This dream reveals to me the point where I...."
Dream on innocence
Innocence cannot be Broken or fixed with Self-Judgment
We were on a field on the Desteni farm, everyone was there. I had a mango in my hand and fed it to a seagull. In the moment of throwing it to the seagull I thought about the seed inside the mango and if I should have not thrown the mango to the bird. In that moment the bird broke its beak on the mango and the image of the bird with the broken beak was horrific, similar to seeing a very violent and graphic scene in a movie – I was in absolute shock and immediately felt extensive guilt and shame for having been inconsiderate. E came and said that now we had to take the bird in so that we could support it because it would not be able to take care of itself. I was seeing all these pieces of beak lying on the ground and in desperation suggested/thought that we could glue it back together onto the birds beak. E was clearly irritated with me and expressed that I was no help (in my state). I felt useless and worthless and inferior in that moment. E told me to go and get seeds so that we could catch the bird. I went to get seeds (here the dream diverted into another point that I will not add here as it is not relevant for this specific context) in my room and when I got there, I could not find the right seeds. I had lots of seeds but I could not find the right ones that E had asked me to get. I looked and looked and in the end decided to take a mix of seeds that could work. (I heard B and M talk in the background about seeds and that when we came home from the farm that we should plant seeds and that this was our responsibility and what was best for all – I experienced them as strict and the planting of seeds as an obligation with pressure and that I would probably not do it. I thought to myself that I had planted seeds last time I went home from the farm but the plants died. When I came back to E, she said that a night had passed while I was gone and the bird had died because it was left alone with the wild animals.
Perspective
I very often dream about animals and they represent Life, Process, Innocence and Purity to me, both in my daily life and in dreams. The seagull is a specific symbol because I have connected an energetic relationship to them. Everyday I see them flying outside my house, playing with the wind, expressing themselves in freedom – is what I see. Furthermore the dream is not about something literal, but is revealing a specific interpretation of and relationship with reality and myself that I have created and living in, in and as the mind. So the first point is the polarity of animals as Innocence that I experience and believe myself to be Separate and Excluded from – the next point is how I see/experience/accept myself within and in relation to this perception. First there is my perception of Process of Life as Innocence (in this specific case) – and also as a polarity to that, as my Responsibility, as vulnerable as weak – then there is the desire to feed/support this Point, wherein I rush and do not Consider all relevant Points with the result that I Break/Fall within and lose Innocence – to this I react within fear/shame/guilt/inferiority and self-judgment and Allow this to Direct me to try to fix what is apparently “broken” – I Accept myself as completely inferior to the Self-Judgment and thus it becomes the Directive Principle that “shows me” how to fix the situation. Then I have to go get the seeds, which Viktor and I had a long discussion about and which I still do not see clearly what represents. We talked about knowledge and information or opportunity. I could also be the tools of Process that we utilize to Bring ourselves Back to Innocence. I then cannot find the right tools – because my Starting-Point is based on guilt and fear and my Direction is based on Self-Judgment – Then there is the middle-segment where I confirm my worthlessness and Acceptance thereof (again through seeing everything through self-judgment) I comparison with how I believe I should be, but am not, as strict honor that I perceive as a pressure of obligation to “plant the seeds” – (This is referring to my perception of myself since I returned from the farm. And the point of the dream being located on the farm itself is another layer of the same – seeing the farm as Innocence of Life as Process – as broken that I have to fix.) In the last part of the dream, time has passed and there is manifested consequence – my Innocence has been killed (because it could not protect or support itself and was thus also to a certain extend seen as vulnerable as weak) due to my negligence, uselessness and inability to find the right tools to fix what I had broken. The bird had died – Instead of Living Innocence Here Realizing that Innocence is Here, I went into Personality to “fix” innocence – and while doing so, “killed” myself as Innocence.
After that I looked at how I could correct the dream to Common Sense and what is Best for All. The first Point I saw is that it is unrealistic for a bird to break its beak on a mango-seed – therefore the creation of this element in the dream was made out of fear as fuzzy logic of the mind in and instant reaction to having been inconsiderate in feeding the bird something that might be harmful to it.
So I have reacted to my own inconsideration instead of simply correcting it and through that have created an unnecessary process in order to fix myself and through that a manifested consequence. The entire segment with the actual breaking of the beak was all about fear/panic and then guilt and shame. Thereafter what I also saw that I could have done is stop myself in the moment of wanting to feed the bird, and if the mango seed would in deed have been harmful, I could have cut the seed out and simply fed the bird the rest. Thereby the rest of the dream would be irrelevant and thus reveals that the rest of the dream was a reaction to the first segment, in relation to trying to fix what I had broken and how I reacted towards myself within this.
- I do not need to feed innocence as something Separate from me or inferior to me as weak – I can simply Share myself as Innocence in Self-Support and Self-Care.
- Innocence is not fragile and cannot be broken, lost or falling – however self-abuse is possible within acting within inconsideration of the consequences of One’s actions.
- I Allow myself to Stop in the Moment and take All into Consideration and Care and Act according to what is Best for All within the Moment.
- When I do make a mistake, I Allow myself to Stop, Forgive and Place the required practical Correction. I make mistakes so that I can fully understand how to Act according to what is Best for All in Every Moment.
- I cannot fix myself with Self-judgment as Self-Judgment is me against myself and not in Support of myself
- Self-Judgment is not the Directive Principle of me and is not an Superior Authority of me. I am not Inferior to Self-Judgment, as I can Direct myself in Common Sense Consideration of what is Best for All in the Moment.
- If I allow myself to be Directed by and as Self-Judgment, I am Lost in a mind-created one dimensional reality of Fear and I create unnecessary Processes for myself to walk through to get to a Point of Self-Correction. When I am Here in and as the Physical in Equality, I am able to see what is Best for me and what is Best for Everyone Here.
Dream with Self-forgiveness
Dream
I dreamed that my brother hit a disabled woman with his car and that he tried to escape his responsibility. I told him that it was unacceptable and that he had to face the consequences. A commotion broke out and people started to fight in the streets completely possessed. My mother jumped into a car and started fighting with a woman, pulling her hair and what not. I pulled them apart and told them that they were demon possessed. I looked into my mothers eyes and I saw her changing between a demon form and her human form and I told her to breathe. I started laughing and became possessed myself making gruesome faces. I felt strangely enough free within this demon expression, but also quite frightened and out of control. I snapped out and took a deep breath in and out, and I said to myself "I have to focus on myself, I can't save my mother". Then I was chased by demons as they recognized me as not being possessed and I tried to hide in abandoned houses.
Forgiveness
So, what the dream told me is most prominently:
- 1. a fear of becoming possessed
- 2. a fear that my family members will become possessed
- 3. a fear of being exposed to and harmed by possessed beings
- 4. a desire to save my family
- 5. a desire to become possessed
Self Forgiveness
1. I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear becoming demon possessed I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see/realize that I can't be demon possessed if I don't allow it I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear facing myself as a demon I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that anything can possess me if I stick to breathing I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear losing myself I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I as physical here-ness can be lost I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear my anger I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to lose myself in anger I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I deal with my anger if I suppress it I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to suppress my anger instead of forgiving myself I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see/realize that fear is a form of demon possession in itself I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to become possessed with fear of demons I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear myself
2. I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear that my brother will become demon possessed
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear that my mother will become demon possessed I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear that my father will become demon possessed I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear losing my family members within them becoming demon possessed I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear standing alone I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to assume that my brother, mother and father have no self-control I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear facing my mother as a demon I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear facing my father as a demon I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear facing my brother as a demon I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear my brothers anger I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear my fathers anger I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear my mothers anger I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear rinding the car when my brother is driving I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see/realize that my fear is related to memories of my family members road rages and thus lack physical substance
3. I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear getting in the way of a being possessed with anger/hate/rage
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear the anger of others I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be in a constant alert mode in fear of being hurt by possessed beings in public I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear my neighbor and thus sustaining and maintaining the current system of fear and self-interest
4. I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to want to save my family
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I can save my family I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear assisting my family within clear and practical common sense because of fear of being ridiculed I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear being ridiculed by my family I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to ridicule myself I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that my family is special and worth saving within wanting to save them
5. I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to desire being demon possessed
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be tempted by the demonic I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I would be free if I became a demon I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to want to abdicate my responsibility within becoming demon possessed