Dreams:HumanTraits
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In this section you will find dreams and their assessment in relation to human traits
First you will read a brief description of the dream followed by a perspective given to learn to support oneself and to identify the topics that are relevant for one's process at this time. In the perspective section you may also find applied self-forgiveness statements.
Dream on asserting oneself
I was dreaming of telling people off, saying things to people very directly- assertively to my mother, father, sister, son's girlfriend etc. the words I say stay in the memory all day such as "I know what your doing, yes such n such I can see what you are doing...very clever" or "don't you dare speak to me like that, I have had enough of this shit" Last night I dreamed I was in a dormitory, a strange place, in bed sleeping, half aware of strangers coming in mid way through the night and this man got into the bed next to mine. Even though I was "asleep" another part of me was watching him as though awake....he reached his hand over to pull the cover off my face and I woke up and in the pattern of all my dreams these nights I began to tell him off...and the words stayed with me, I was saying to him " Hey what are you doing, I was asleep! I was asleep....Why on earth would you wake up the one person who was successfully asleep ?"
Perspective
What I found within the dreams are points that I'm either not standing clear within myself yet meaning points that i'm back chatting during the day and not yet directed and thus remain "confuse" or points that assisting and supporting me with showing me through others what is that i believe i'm lacking. for example, when i dream about a person i ask myself, what this person symbolize/represent to me? What is that I'm jealous of? What is that i believe i can't do while the other can? Where is it that i experience myself as lacking?
What you are showing in your dream is your desire to stand up. is this where you believe you are lacking? Are you experiencing yourself as inferior to "mother, father, sister, son's girlfriend etc"? Because in your dream you project superiority and in 'reality' you are inferior to them so your dream shows you that you exist within and as a polarity of inferior/superior.
So what you can do is to expend on the dream within writing - describe also your experience after awaking up and facing the people that were on your dream. see if you are able to bring the dream/memory here and write - What it gives to self when standing up to those people, How do I feel when standing up to those people, how those it make me feel to NOT stand up to people and so on.
Dream with various elements
I came home from work and was a little bit tired and decided that i wanted to go to sleep for a while.
Then i started to dream, i dreamed first scene was i was in a car driving somewhere, and i am saying driving here, but it is more like someone is driving and i am all over the place, but yet i am driving in the mountains,and it looked cold, but didn't felt cold. Then it started to rain.
And the scene change, suddenly i was like in a bay. And there was a great bridge in the middle of the bay but the odd thing about the bridge is one could not see the beginning nor the end of the bridge, one just assume that is must be connected to some land somewhere. I can remember being all over this bay, and when i say all over i mean like in a hovering position, like i can see all things in different positions and can be everywhere at will. There was a bear that could talk and had a fishing line and was trying to fish but didn't know how. And i could see as he was playing with this line, a shark approaching, the great white shark. And it was a huge one, i mean really big. when looked from above, the position i was looking at all this, the body of that shark took the whole center of the bay, and the bay was big. And the shark just took the line in its mouth but on its face i could see and sense somehow, that it was somehow playing with this bear, but yet i felt afraid and the shark came out with halve its body on the water and i told the bear; 'look you got a shark on the line man..!!' Then i found myself on the beach with the bear and there was a young boy next to him and i can sense me being the young boy, but yet i am still in the hovering position. It's strange.
Then the dream changed again and i found myself looking at a stranger in a car driving and it felt like i was in a commercial, and it was about people who were talking about their experience of being in a foreign country and renting a car and just drive off and explore the place. But it felt strange because i could be in the car as well as out of the car and yet feel the warmth of being in the car when i am out the car, like i didn't left the man in the car but yet i am out, i could be wherever i wanted to be....in front of the car and in the back and above it, all while it is moving, i could go and see ahead what was lying ahead on the road, but yet i am with this man in this commercial like scene. And when the man talked to himself i could hear what he was saying within me, it is like me talking to myself, but yet i was not that man,it felt strange. everything was very personal, all the scenes in the dream..........how should i put it....?? i felt like i am all that the dream was, but yet i am not. And i was also aware of me being the observer in the dream, but couldn't get it, what the observer is, you feel things like you feel with your human body, but yet i just know that i have no body, i am just all over the place and can be everywhere all over the place at will.
And everything happened like at night,but yet the night was not really dark as usual, as one would consider a night moment to be, it was like foggy. Like it is on the brink of morning, the morning sunlight is coming but not yet, and there is this semi-darkness look to it.
So what does this dream tell me..??
In this dream i had the realization of the dream, or that dreams are me, this is clear to me now, this is exactly how it felt, that the dreams i dream are me, not that i am having dreams, but the whole dream is me, but yet there is this sense of me not being the dream, but this sense of me not being the dream is not clear, it is foggy...
Perspective
What I did with one of my latest dreams was to walk through it step by step I wrote out the sequences of the dream in lines on top of each other and also in a sequential order, because I realized that the sequences "occurred" as reactions to each other, same as within the mind with thoughts and reactions, yet within the dream manifested as "physical projection" as "symbols". That was Assisting me to see "who" I was within the dream as all the symbols represented there. Then I placed myself into each line - looking at what each symbol "represented" either to me personally or as "world symbol" that I had accepted as specifically symbolic. After that I wrote this all out meaning writing the dream out with this new understanding of the symbols that I had created within the dream. At last I did what is probably the most important and that has also been suggested here in the dream threads on the forum - which is to walk through the dream again and Correct and align myself to Self-Honesty, Common Sense and What is Best for All. The night after I had another dream wherein the same symbols were present, yet even more explicit, so after that I wrote a document about it and also Applied Self-Forgiveness on the points that came up.
Here is an example of how I would deconstruct the dream:
i was in a car - What does a car represent/represent to me? Who am I as a car? - so for example: How I see myself moving in my life/my process? - or is it car merely as "transportation" - How does this symbol relate to where I am at the moment?
driving somewhere like someone is driving - How do I experience that someone else is "driving me"? i am all over the place - How do I experience myself "all over the place" - in the dream and in my daily experiences of and as myself?) i am driving in the mountains - How do I see mountains? Does it represent "adventure"? or "climbing up"? What is it I am busy "climbing"? within the mind/my ideas/beliefs/self-definitions/experiences
it looked cold, but didn't felt cold - What does "cold" represent to me? How did I experience myself? it started to rain. What does rain represent? (for example in many dream-analysis water represents emotions
scene change - How do I see this scene change - How did I get from the first to the second scene? Did something happen in between? Is there a connection between the two scenes?
i was like in a bay - again water there was a great bridge in the middle of the bay - lol - "water over the bridge" - What does a bridge represent?
For example: If water is emotions, when what is the bridge? How am I "bridging" my emotions?
the odd thing - do you see it as not now observing the dream or in the dream? How did I experience the bridge? one could not see the beginning nor the end of the bridge one just assume that is must be connected to some land somewhere - Is it you observing the dream? Or in the dream?
being all over this bay like in a hovering position - What does it mean to be "in a hovering position" - how do I see myself being/doing this in my everyday life/in relation to this point?
i can see all things in different positions be everywhere at will - How do I experience this in the dream?
there was a bear that could talk - What does a bear represent? - Who am I as the bear? Do I have any associations to bears? had a fishing line - what does the fishing-line represent if the water is emotion? was trying to fish - What am I trying to do? didn't know how. - What is it I experience that I don't know how to do?
...and so forth. And then after I have answered this for myself. I write the new context of my understanding of "who" I am within the dream.
"This dream reveals to me the point where I...."
Dream on innocence (part 1)
Innocence cannot be Broken or fixed with Self-Judgment. We were on a field on the Desteni farm, everyone was there. I had a mango in my hand and fed it to a seagull. In the moment of throwing it to the seagull I thought about the seed inside the mango and if I should have not thrown the mango to the bird. In that moment the bird broke its beak on the mango and the image of the bird with the broken beak was horrific, similar to seeing a very violent and graphic scene in a movie – I was in absolute shock and immediately felt extensive guilt and shame for having been inconsiderate. E came and said that now we had to take the bird in so that we could support it because it would not be able to take care of itself. I was seeing all these pieces of beak lying on the ground and in desperation suggested/thought that we could glue it back together onto the birds beak. E was clearly irritated with me and expressed that I was no help (in my state). I felt useless and worthless and inferior in that moment. E told me to go and get seeds so that we could catch the bird. I went to get seeds (here the dream diverted into another point that I will not add here as it is not relevant for this specific context) in my room and when I got there, I could not find the right seeds. I had lots of seeds but I could not find the right ones that E had asked me to get. I looked and looked and in the end decided to take a mix of seeds that could work. (I heard B and M talk in the background about seeds and that when we came home from the farm that we should plant seeds and that this was our responsibility and what was best for all – I experienced them as strict and the planting of seeds as an obligation with pressure and that I would probably not do it. I thought to myself that I had planted seeds last time I went home from the farm but the plants died. When I came back to E, she said that a night had passed while I was gone and the bird had died because it was left alone with the wild animals.
Perspective
I very often dream about animals and they represent Life, Process, Innocence and Purity to me, both in my daily life and in dreams. The seagull is a specific symbol because I have connected an energetic relationship to them. Everyday I see them flying outside my house, playing with the wind, expressing themselves in freedom – is what I see. Furthermore the dream is not about something literal, but is revealing a specific interpretation of and relationship with reality and myself that I have created and living in, in and as the mind. So the first point is the polarity of animals as Innocence that I experience and believe myself to be Separate and Excluded from – the next point is how I see/experience/accept myself within and in relation to this perception. First there is my perception of Process of Life as Innocence (in this specific case) – and also as a polarity to that, as my Responsibility, as vulnerable as weak – then there is the desire to feed/support this Point, wherein I rush and do not Consider all relevant Points with the result that I Break/Fall within and lose Innocence – to this I react within fear/shame/guilt/inferiority and self-judgment and Allow this to Direct me to try to fix what is apparently “broken” – I Accept myself as completely inferior to the Self-Judgment and thus it becomes the Directive Principle that “shows me” how to fix the situation. Then I have to go get the seeds, which Viktor and I had a long discussion about and which I still do not see clearly what represents. We talked about knowledge and information or opportunity. I could also be the tools of Process that we utilize to Bring ourselves Back to Innocence. I then cannot find the right tools – because my Starting-Point is based on guilt and fear and my Direction is based on Self-Judgment – Then there is the middle-segment where I confirm my worthlessness and Acceptance thereof (again through seeing everything through self-judgment) I comparison with how I believe I should be, but am not, as strict honor that I perceive as a pressure of obligation to “plant the seeds” – (This is referring to my perception of myself since I returned from the farm. And the point of the dream being located on the farm itself is another layer of the same – seeing the farm as Innocence of Life as Process – as broken that I have to fix.) In the last part of the dream, time has passed and there is manifested consequence – my Innocence has been killed (because it could not protect or support itself and was thus also to a certain extend seen as vulnerable as weak) due to my negligence, uselessness and inability to find the right tools to fix what I had broken. The bird had died – Instead of Living Innocence Here Realizing that Innocence is Here, I went into Personality to “fix” innocence – and while doing so, “killed” myself as Innocence.
After that I looked at how I could correct the dream to Common Sense and what is Best for All. The first Point I saw is that it is unrealistic for a bird to break its beak on a mango-seed – therefore the creation of this element in the dream was made out of fear as fuzzy logic of the mind in and instant reaction to having been inconsiderate in feeding the bird something that might be harmful to it.
So I have reacted to my own inconsideration instead of simply correcting it and through that have created an unnecessary process in order to fix myself and through that a manifested consequence. The entire segment with the actual breaking of the beak was all about fear/panic and then guilt and shame. Thereafter what I also saw that I could have done is stop myself in the moment of wanting to feed the bird, and if the mango seed would in deed have been harmful, I could have cut the seed out and simply fed the bird the rest. Thereby the rest of the dream would be irrelevant and thus reveals that the rest of the dream was a reaction to the first segment, in relation to trying to fix what I had broken and how I reacted towards myself within this.
- I do not need to feed innocence as something Separate from me or inferior to me as weak – I can simply Share myself as Innocence in Self-Support and Self-Care.
- Innocence is not fragile and cannot be broken, lost or falling – however self-abuse is possible within acting within inconsideration of the consequences of One’s actions.
- I Allow myself to Stop in the Moment and take All into Consideration and Care and Act according to what is Best for All within the Moment.
- When I do make a mistake, I Allow myself to Stop, Forgive and Place the required practical Correction. I make mistakes so that I can fully understand how to Act according to what is Best for All in Every Moment.
- I cannot fix myself with Self-judgment as Self-Judgment is me against myself and not in Support of myself
- Self-Judgment is not the Directive Principle of me and is not an Superior Authority of me. I am not Inferior to Self-Judgment, as I can Direct myself in Common Sense Consideration of what is Best for All in the Moment.
- If I allow myself to be Directed by and as Self-Judgment, I am Lost in a mind-created one dimensional reality of Fear and I create unnecessary Processes for myself to walk through to get to a Point of Self-Correction. When I am Here in and as the Physical in Equality, I am able to see what is Best for me and what is Best for Everyone Here.
Dream on innocence (part 2)
The night before last I had a dream which I shared in my latest post. Now last night I had a similar dream that depicted a point that had also been prominent in the first dream, but here extensive as to show myself that THIS is the point at hand that requires Direction. I have been a regular sister resister lately and especially last night, where I did all kinds of other things than sit down and write. The experience I have excused myself with is that of having “too many points to deal with”, both in terms of writing/correcting and also in terms of practical responsibilities in my world. So I Apply the same Principle as if I have had a room filled with clutter and mess: I start in one corner. Too often have I looked at that room and found it incomprehensible to clean the entire mess as I was looking at everything at once and bailed out the door. So starting in one corner of my world, which at this present moment is highlighted through this dream. I only recall one sequence from the dream, but it was clearly a repetition of the theme from the prior dream.
I am at a huge farm/facility, it is night and I have to go somewhere. I run into a sort of game park environment and all the wild animals are awakened and disturbed by my running in where they are sleeping. I do not recall exactly what happened, but it had major consequences that I ran into this place instead of Walking. In the dream I talked to some people about it and Realized that had I walked instead of running, the animals would have known that it was me, but because I came running, they thought I was a dangerous animal that came to eat them and so they all got up in a chaos of fear and killed each other.
I did not feel extensively emotional in this dream as I did in the previous one, however I did regret that I had not been considerate as I could see afterwards that it would have been Common Sense to walk instead of run. So the point that is repeating itself is the point of running/rushing which I have identified as being Inconsiderate, not taking All and Everything into Consideration and thereby creating unnecessary and unacceptable consequences. In this moment of running into the area, I was only focused on myself, on what I was doing, where I was going – thus I was self-interested and therefore did not Consider others around me. The second point is the regret, guilt and shame I experience for having done this, however not as extensive as in the first dream. Again there is the theme of animals, which represents Process and Self as the Physical and Life. In revisiting the dream, it is unclear to me at this point whether what I am showing myself is simply that rushing is self-interested and does not support life, or whether it is the perception of and reaction towards myself as inconsiderate as the relevant point. Then besides these obvious points, there is the point of the animals, which I see as a point of Polarity as well – because it shows my perception of Process, Life as the Physical as myself – wherein it is fragile, must be protected, can be disturbed and destroyed by me as the mind as the polarity as exceeding power, danger, disturbance. There is further more another point that especially was prominent in the previous dream, where the reaction and correction of the point is specifically in relation to other people (as separate), wherein the first dream it was the projection of self-judgment and responsibility and here I speak with others about what I could have done differently. So first there is me, acting alone – rushing towards something, in the first dream this was wanting to “feed life”/participate within process. Then there is the consequence of my actions, which is where I make a mistake that has severe consequences for something/someone outside of me = the animals as Innocence, Life, Process. Then there is how I react to this through speaking with others outside separate from me, thus a point of not trusting self, depending on outside separate points to direct me. Fascinating.
Perspective with Self-forgiveness
1. Where/how am I rushing in self-interest and inconsideration and thus compromising process?
This specific point is related to the polarized perception of me vs. process and specifically how I see myself (in and as personality of and as the mind) as compared to how I perceive/believe I should be in process. What I am also seeing is that I am actually rushing in this very Here Moment – lol – based on this exact perception. So what I see that is required is that I slow this point down and take them on one at the time because right now I am trying to basically consume/eat the point up in its fullness instead of walking it in detail point by point. So by my very Participation in and as this Moment, I can see exactly what this Point implies. Cool.
2. Where/how do I react to the mistakes I have made, where I have acted Inconsiderate, in self-interest with regret, guilt, shame, believing and perceiving that I am compromising process?
This is very obvious to me, is where I block myself instead of Allowing myself to stop and Forgive myself and correct myself. In both dream scenarios, there were a Clear Practical Correction available – the next step is thus to Apply it, which I sabotaged/postponed for myself by reacted/taking the mistake made personally and thus creating a diverted process for myself. “Next time I am to go into the area where the animals sleep, I will walk instead of run.” Done! Simple Correction.
3. Where/how have I split myself into polarity as separation and comparison between the perception of myself and the perception of process?
This point might require some more writing because this is one of the major points within the point – how I have perceived myself in a comparing polarity. So – I have an idea about Process, about who I should be in Process, that is not Aligned with me Here – The dream clearly shows that I see process as something outside Separate from me, that I have to “Consider” and “Protect” – also in order to prevent myself from making mistakes. The idea(l) I have had about who and how I should be in Process is based on comparing myself to memory, to projections and specifically within this, not seeing that it is an idea(l) of and as Polarity, something I am trying to become (run to/feed) instead of me Here, Equal and One. Therefore this Point reveals a Point of Accepted Separation – essentially Abdication of Self-Responsibility and Self-Acceptance. Last night I Realized that everything I have experienced and created for myself the last year, has been of and as the Mind. My entire perception of… everything, has been based on, in and as the Mind, as personality of ego, fear and separation. Where I locate myself as Silence and Stability as Standing in Self-Honesty, is within the Realization that I am All – because within that, everything else fades and I Realize that I have been Accepting and thus Creating myself as Illusion as Reality – and that I, as Reality, am right Here. However the direct line from that – which is where I’ve snapped my chain – is Self-Responsibility. Sweet god in heaven, has that point been the bitch of all bitches for me to Live. So – back to Practical Reality: This is the Point. Because within the perception of myself as “ass-ending”, I end on my ass = Manifested consequence. Ascension can in this case be the equivalent of running – a mis-conception of trying to stand up as the Mind (which is polarity, superiority, ego, inferiority and energy) – and thus I ended on my ass – which is the equivalent of falling and the manifested consequences taking place in my dreams. But there is no way that I am going to (and here I don’t mean as a statement of intent, but as a fact) allow myself to stand up through and as thoughts, ideas, polarities or energy. It is simply physically impossible. Therefore: back to the basics – I am Here, Here is who I am – I am Responsible for All Here as who I am. The lesson learned here is: by trying to stand up as the mind – I fall. Falling is simply ending on my ass, from where I cannot move, but sit, immovable – stuck as laziness, excuses, resistance, justifications, merry-go-rounds of self-judgment and pity. Standing up within and as the Physical, based on the Support of my dream, means simply Applying the Correction to the mistake (mind) made – my god, is it really that Simple? And obviously get to a point of not making mistakes (Self-Perfection, Self-Responsibility, Self-Authority) – however the specific point that I see I must firstly Push, is the Point of taking the mistake/fall personally – because it is also from there, that I’ve tried to stand up from and as the mind – because within doing so, I am validating myself as the mind and thus it will be the starting-point for my participation. So – point 1 is: attempting to Stand up from within and as the Mind, in Separation personified as comparison and polarity, perceiving Process as Separate/more than me. Point 2 is: from there taking mistakes personally instead of Applying the Correction as Self-Forgiveness, Facing Self within investigating the reason why the mistake was made in the first place – and the mistake is actually made because I was trying to be/do more than HERE. This is essentially the Point that I gotta work with.
- Within taking on too much, trying to solve everything at once, believing that I am able to do it all here now – I show myself that I am existing within and as a personality in and as an energy/polarity relationship with, as and towards the perception/idea/desire/belief/submission that: I must, should, could, want to – be more than who and what I am Here
Thus:
- Rushing – missing points and making mistakes
- Believe, perceive, accept and manifest myself as less than the idea
- Become a slave to the idea of who and how is should be, in absolute separation of myself Here as Life in Process of Stopping and Standing up from within and as the Mind
Self-Forgiveness
1. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to separate myself from myself as the Process of Life Standing up from within and as the Mind, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as
2. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to create a Separate entity of and as myself, in Separation of myself Here as Life, as the idea/belief/perception of how and who I should be in and as Process
3. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to see/perceive/believe/experience/define Process as Superior to me and thus as something outside, separate from me, that I must aspire to by becoming more than who and what I am Here, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as
4. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe/perceive and accept that process is about becoming more than who and what I am Here, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as – instead of Realizing that I AM PROCESS – I am the Process of and as Standing up as Life, within and as Stopping myself, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Exist in and as, in and as the Mind, as manifested Separation from, of and as myself Here as Life, Equal and One
5. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to attempt to aspire to become more, as I have seen/perceived/experienced and believing process to be more than me and thus that I had to become more, in order to walk Process – instead of Realizing that I am Walking Process as All and Everything I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Exist in and as
6. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to rush myself in order to become more through and as attempting to Stand up in the Mind as the acceptance of myself as inferior to process – thus actually Separating myself from myself as process and thus walking a process as mind, as the idea about process and the idea about who I am and who I should be in process
7. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to manifest a polarity-based relationship of separation, friction and conflict from within and as the mind, from within which I have accepted myself as inferior to process as something outside separate from me, that I compared myself to, through projections and memories in and as the mind
8. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe/fear/experience/accept and manifest process as a “positive”, as an ideal, but also as something that can be shaken and fallen from as fragile, as if it must be protected, can be disturbed and destroyed by me as the mind as the polarity as exceeding power, danger, disturbance.
9. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept, create and manifest an entity-personality of and as polarity as separation from and as myself here as Life, perceiving/defining/experiencing/believing and accepting process as “innocent”, “pure”, “fragile”, “unsafe”, “exposed to danger” and myself in comparison as “dirty”, “un-pure”, “tough” and “dangerous” - instead of Realizing that none of these are real, as they are polarities that I have made-up within and as the mind and created a relationship towards and with, from where I have participated in and as this polarity-construct, making up an entity personality that I have believed, accepted and lived as myself, while it was a self-deluded illusion and not Real
10. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that my perception about process as more than me, was Real
11. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe that my perception about myself as less than process, was real
12. I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that whatever I am, whatever I Accept and Allow myself to exist in and as – is the Process of me Standing up as Life from and as the Physical in Stopping the Mind, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as
13. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to abdicate myself as Life, through believing, accepting, perceiving and manifesting myself in Separation from process superior to me and me as inferior to process – thereby having Denied who I am Here as Life Standing up as Life from and as the Physical in Stopping the Mind, as who and what I have Accepted and Allowed myself to exist in and as
14. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe and fear myself to be annihilated from process, because of the mistakes I have made and fallen within – instead of realizing that this is perceived form within and as the Mind, In and as Separation from myself Here as Life – at it is I, who have annihilated myself, within judging myself for making mistakes, based on the desire to be more than who I am – instead of Forgiving and Correcting myself in Common Sense Self-Honesty, Self-Responsibility and Simplicity
15. I Forgive myself that I within having Accepted and Allowed myself to believe, perceive, experience, accept and manifest myself as inferior to and separate from process – have justified abdicating myself as process
16. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to believe and perceive process to be outside of me, away from me, not me
17. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to associate process as spiritual ascension and religious redemption – instead of Directing myself as Process in Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty and Self-Responsibility
18. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept myself to exist in Self-Interest and Inconsideration based on having Accepted myself as Separate from and inferior to process
19. I Forgive myself that I, within having Accepted and Allowed myself to accept process as outside, separate from me, have abdicated process as myself – thus abdicating self-responsibility for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – and for correcting myself to live as Equality Here, in and as the Physical
20. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to annihilate myself from process, by accepting myself as separate from process within and as the polarity-relationship, where I have perceived process as more and me as less – instead of Realizing that: there is only one process and I am it.
21. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deceive myself to believe that I am not in process, that I can fall out of process – when in fact, everything I am, is the process of Standing up as Life
22. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to blame and judge myself for making mistakes and for perceiving mistakes as unforgivable, when in fact all they require is practical Correction within the Application of Common Sense as what is Best for All
23. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to Compromise what is Best for All, through justifying not taking everything and everyone into Consideration, based on the acceptance of myself as inferior to process and the desire to aspire to process as more than me
24. I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Trust myself within correcting myself and standing up
25. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept myself as dependent on others to stand up and correct myself
26. I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize how important, simplistic and available Common Sense Self-Corrections are
27. I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself Realize that the Solution is in and as the Physical
28. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to manifest unnecessary and unacceptable processes and consequences based on having allowed myself to accept myself as less than process
29. I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that Process is Here, in the Moment, in Every Breath
30. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear making mistakes within fearing how others would see me, that they would judge me – fear my own reaction towards myself, when I have made mistakes, of self-judgment and guilt and regret
31. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to react with self-judgment, guilt and regret towards making a mistake and thus attempting to avoid making mistakes to avoid these emotions – when in fact I can simply stop the emotions and stop allowing myself to be directed by, and enslaved to emotions
32. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to hold onto past memories of “how I was” and for comparing myself as I perceive myself now to those memories, instead of realizing that I within this am creating a relationship-polarity-energy-entity based on the acceptance of myself as inferior to and separate from process that is essentially a delusion as I cannot be and am not separate
33. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to compare myself within and as the mind, to others as projected images as positive polarities, instead of realizing that I within this am creating a relationship-polarity-energy-entity based on the acceptance of myself as inferior to and separate from process that is essentially a delusion as I cannot be and am not separate
34. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to accept myself as “out of process” – thus having justified acting deliberately in self-interest, denial and self-dishonesty
35. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to experience and participate in guilt and regret towards having allowed myself to justify acting deliberately in self-interest, denial and self-dishonesty, instead of realizing that the experiences of guilt and regret are not real and that they are part of the polarity-construct, in which I have held myself enslaved to and as the mind
36. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself for having held myself enslaved to and as the mind within participating in thoughts, memories, ideas and perceptions based on polarity-energy-relationships as separation from myself Here as Life
37. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to fear that I am not able or capable of correcting myself – thus having allowed myself to justify abdicating self-responsibility for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become
38. I Forgive myself that I have Accepted and Allowed myself to deceive myself into abdicating self-responsibility for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, by participating in, perceiving, accepting and manifesting myself as inferior
39. I Forgive myself that I have not Accepted and Allowed myself to Realize that by participating in, perceiving, accepting and manifesting myself as inferior and within that having justified abdicating myself as Life, as self-responsible for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, I have accepted the mind as superior to me as life and thus accepted myself as the mind, as the delusion/illusion as who I am – The End.
Dream with resonant possession and stopping in breath
I enter a room, I see Aloe, a girl I had met and was hanging out with a couple of summers back. In the dream I 'recognized' her through the 'knowledge' I had of her as a person that is into mysticism and paranormal and spirituality.
I enter the room, the room is empty. I don't know why I enter the room, there was no door, I am simply suddenly there, I go pass her first, and then turn around and see her. I don't recall us exchanging words. The first thing that she says (maybe after we say hi or something) is: look there, there's something there. She points towards me, a bit to her side, in the air that is between us. In that moment, simultaneously, I have a 'knowledge'-reaction of "oh man, Aloe with her 'ideas'..." and also a 'notion' that I must stand to this/fight this. as I looked, the air, which was see-through, because more dense, as if 'something' was there. in that moment, I experienced my left underarm and hand go 'crampy' - and I saw the point: mind/resonance possession. so I moved within myself to stop this point. I took a breath and I said "delete". I could feel a 'change' within myself, though I was not 100% 'satisfied' with my sound. I also knew suddenly, no, I don't have to 'say' anything. So what I then did is, I simply 'let go'. literally, I let all the tension go as I breathed out, and I let everything go in that moment. That was it. My arm/hand was alright again and the whole point stopped.
After that, in the dream I was describing/explaining the point (and i recall being kind of 'angry' in my expression, like a 'wtf'-expression, like 'this is bullshit with consequence') - I said that the whole-point was a mind possession, and because Aloe has those particular beliefs, she manifested her own perception of/as energy within her own bubble of mind. And because I even for one moment 'accepted' or 'validated' the point (even just tacitly, per implication), I 'entered' that bubble with my own bubble I created in that moment of acceptance - and so there we were, both of us trapped in a merged moment/bubble of belief and energy -- manifesting into resonance-possession / mind-possession as indicated by my hand cramping badly (I wasn't aware of Aloe's inner experience nor did I look to see her physical condition in that moment).
Perspective
Fascinating - like a real-life lesson-walk-through in a dream - I experienced an understanding taking-place as if for-real, physically, in the dream -- and walking the 'solution' of stopping the point through stopping within self first -- and stopping the 'possession' through letting go within self, in/as the breath. Then I woke up.
so: one fascinating thing was how I in/through one accepted second of 'fear' created a whole construct, lol The moment I said "delete" - I realized within myself two things: Firstly, I was speaking these words out of 'knowledge', which is also why I wasn't 100% satisfied with my sound Secondly, I was speaking these words as a point of "pushing the 'thing' away" or as if I was to 'fight it', there was no actual equality in the word as me in that moment. which is why I stopped and changed my application to breath, where I decided to simply let go. so it not the word itself that was not 'right' - it was who I was within and as what I did/spoke.
A dream I had the other night:
I was in the kitchen of some house I apparently stayed in. I see a 'couple' laughing together while doing dishes. the man stands behind the woman, the woman laughing and leaning back to laugh - I particularly see the woman, that 'intimate moment' of her laughing to/with her man. An emotional 'shower' overcomes me - it was not related to any thoughts, it was rather physical and I can literally feel it 'fill' my body, like running to my head - at the same time I am realizing this, it's like I'm an observer and this is 'happening' to me, and I am even 'saying to myself' as a realization in the dream that: this is weird, I don't even know these people, and I don't have any relation to who they are or what they do, this must stop, I am dreaming, this is not real. And at the same time I am as if attempting to 'change' myself within myself and stop the experience.
That's when i woke up.
Perspective
When I woke up I contemplated that this dream must be showing me a particular emotional pattern that I haven't yet completely transcended. So I found it 'cool' to have this dream, even though the experience in itself was quite disturbing. I 'interpreted' the emotion (based on the picture-symbolism and the context thereof) as a feeling mix of fear and jealousy in relation to 'intimacy'.So I have now flagged this point for myself to in my reality direct myself into self-correction in this relation. yesterday we were at my grandma's for lunch. Sunday. All kids there. Something 'similar happened' from the perspective that I projected a similar point onto Niki - I see now the symbolism/pattern= 'a beautiful and happy woman, easy-going, and fulfilled' and even though I had no feeling of jealousy or fear as such come up, I found myself having difficulty looking at her (actually at the others too a little bit), though she was the point that made this 'sensation'/reaction clear to me...so there was like this latent or unconscious reaction that was subtle, yet evident.
fascinatingly enough I applied a 'tactic' I do not use so often: I remained within myself, for myself, and I breathed for myself, and I resolved the point within myself. I said I didn't use this often, because I see now what I would normally do: I would look for others to validate my 'change' or my 'state', I would make eye contact and look for something to define me. (that's insane!!)This I didn't do this time.
Though unconsciously it did play-out: In the end when everybody was leaving (and even though in the beginning I didn't kiss anyone saying that I am with flu, and Niki had said she is too) - I now went to Niki and wanted to give her a kiss-goodbye. I see now that this was an unconscious move aimed to 'prove' to myself or to 'prove' generally that I am okay with the point and, in other words, it was an attempt to have the external situation validate my 'change' or my 'state' and therefore obviously the same point as above. lol
However I am 'satisfied' with the overall play-out/my participation, as I can see points to 'work-on' as well as point I have already worked through and now I see I have changed. During this lunch I was laughing a lot with the kids, big and small, I was laughing as in enjoying myself, watching with interest how everyone has created them-self and now they have kids and babies etc...and who everyone has become or is becoming. And all were laughing and some were making jokes, and even though I was the odd one out, I was totally okay with that! I did not make any attempts to 'try and fit-in' or get into one of the bubbles -- this is what I saw later on: how people create bubbles around them when they share gossip/jokes/secrets - this bubble is projected as 'intimacy', but it's the system definition of 'intimacy'.
In the past I would feel 'left out' and get jealous, feeling 'sorry for myself' and about why I can't be 'part of it', why I can't belong. Today I was totally 'enough' for myself - I didn't have to belong anywhere, I wasn't 'expecting 'validation' or 'rejection', I didn't have emotional reactions towards other people's apparent 'intimacy' - I saw myself as "in the bubble but not of the bubble".So - fascinating actually, these are quite some interesting observations that show to me how i have changed and how i stand in self-trust and self-equality, ready to work with what is here to assist and support myself.
Dream on resistance
so... I was one night studying the Desteni material and also looking within myself and had many realizations. Then I realized it was kinda late so i went to sleep. I've always been used to think and imagine things and pictures to make me sleep because it was a way to escape the silence and darkness within me and my surroundings. That night i realized that and i stopped. So I fell asleep immediately. When I fell asleep I had this dream. It was in a place that looked like one of the avenues in my city. There was this man who wanted to go somewhere. (I was in an observant position, not participating) and the people where dragging him to the place he wanted to go and they were pulling and pushing him. And even though he wanted to go he was resisting himself. And always someone got tired of pulling him and came another person to try. After a while comes a woman she sees whats happening and tries to pull him somewhere. I that very moment I became the woman and told a guy to help me pull him and he said: "no, he doesn't let me. I'm sick of him." Io I turn to the man that wants to go somewhere(in this moment I am really really really stressed out, feeling like my head is exploding, and my chest. Like a burning sensation in my upper body) I ask him: "what's wrong if you wanna go there why won't you let people help you?" and there's like "interference", I don't understand what he's saying, he has no face(ha). In that moment I decided to wake up because I was in such a state of utter desperation, fear and stress. When I woke up I felt so overwhelmed about the fear and the mix of emotions I just... decided to scream. Of course after the dream I couldn't stop thinking about it and again i was thinking before sleeping. It distracted me from everything.
Perspective
I suggest you look at the points of what exactly caused the fear, desperation and stress within that situation, I suggest you walk the dream again and place it in more detail with regards to what thoughts, what actually happened that caused this experience in the dream yet within you. There is a resistance event in the dream so regardless of 'who you are' within the scene, see the core events like the anxiety that you experienced that lead you to eventually scream -
Dreams are part of our process support to open up points existent within us that we have to deal with and that we usually suppress in our day to day living - so the dream is generated by you as the mind to open up that 'can of worms' to deal with the core experiences as mentioned above.
Thus, suggest you take this dream into further writing about what exactly triggered that state of anxiety and how you can relate that experience - not the events per se in the dream - to your every day living.
Dream about losing keys
I was in this car and i was with a girl Brenda i have known here for about 20 years now anyhow we were leaving the parking lot i got into my car and i recall the windows being down and i forgot my keys and then after that we went back into this place it was similar to a shopping mall but i guess i was working outside of the mall like at a kiosk type of thingy or something and i looked for my keys all night i do not recall finding them - also i dreamt something about being in a grocery store and i was looking for fruit and the fruit -cantaloupe and honeydew the fruit was already cut open and they were both rotten and i would pick it up to have a look and it was rotted so i didn't buy it.
Perspective
keys-- control
friend -- habit
Look at who you are in the experience --observe you and see where you require direction in your daily living -- its like looking a life review and is the way dreams will assist. In this dream I felt like I was out of control because I was not able to just leave when I wanted to and it was like I planned on leaving I was walking to the parking lot ready and the windows were opened to the car so it was like fuck I was so close to leaving but I couldnt cuz I didnt have the keys so looking for them really sucked and we went to get the fruit as a way to sorta pass time and the fruit was rotten so it was pointless and more frustrating I felt stuck and frustrated and somewhat frantic like a homeless in a way because I had no way to get out of the situation.
Dream about a job
Um hello, and this is the first dream since I found desteni that I remembered. Actually its the First in years. When I woke up I wrote it down to not forget, so I can share it here, I really don't understand most if it, but I feel like I should share it none the less.
The dream took place at the first apartment my parents rented when I was born, but my age was different from reality, even though I lived there around the age 4-6 in the dream I was much older. I got the job and it was with this "group" of people that where running things at the apartment on their own, almost the impression of a mafia, but not quite.
Day one of the job went by smoothly, but the transition into day 2 was intense. I had to preform my first solo job, and it was to screw in a bronze screw into a pre drilled hole right where the "third" eye is. All I had to dew was use the electric screw driver and put the screw in place, I was very uncomfortable doing this. But it was my job so I placed it in and the person didn't mind it as much as I did. Once I screwed it in the fat closed the cap and I left, later realizing that I fucked up, and the screw went to far so it didn't do its job, and was just floating in his front lobe. I ran through the apartments looking for the employers to get help but couldn't find any of them, luckily my mom was already helping the man. By the time I got to the room where the man was my mom finished helping him, there where water jugs every where and he was throwing up earlier. I was happy to find out that my mom was able to handle it, and when the man vomited his last time I offered to clean up the mess, and did. The other people in the room gave me the impression, "oh now he does something."
Day 2 of work ended and I was heading home, I didn't own a car to drive so I decided to walk home, I didn't mind. As I started walking I started day dreaming about how much money I'm going to make the first week, I remember guessing high numbers for my efforts. But the events made me feel overwhelmed and I had to unbutton the top button to give me the impression that I could breathe, It didn't change anything but I felt like I was a "worker" of the group I joined. A green SUV drove by and the peoples impression changed of me, I couldn't tell if it was for the better or worse. But I new I was being judged differently. While still walking through the apartments parking lot a silver dodge charger (my brothers dream car) pulled up. Came out a man that represented a higher up in the group I worked with, and transformed into my dad. he said, "oh you finally understand pointing at the shirt being unbutton at the top. I agreed but inside I felt like I didn't understand, or I convinced my self I didn't. Inside the car was my cousin Yelena and her "Mexican" friend. My dad offered me a ride.
We arrive at a neighbor hood where we drop off the girls, and we go to my dads friend house to pick up some junk like wood palates and barrels of used oil. Since people consider this useless junk my dad would take it and use it for house needs. I'm helping him load a trailer attached to the car, with the stuff, and as we have to barrels left , my dad uses a dolly with the barrel to ram it into forcing room for the barrel. I point out, Care full the car just budged forward, but he disregarded my comment and made me ram the dolly while he moved the contents of the trailer around to make more room. The car rolled forward into the mans property in front, and crashed into another trailer "It seemed as though it crashed into an older rustier version of the same trailer, like bad dream mechanics." We rushed over to check out the damage, and noticed a man enjoying breakfast in his house as he saw everything, and he gave a laugh, and phoned in the insurance company, I remember my dad giving the impression oh great now a lawsuit, But the man laughed not to point out our faults and claim oh I'm gonna do more damage, he laughed to point out that everything is going to be fine and he called the insurance company on our behalf to help us out.
---this is where the dream kinda tweaks-- and its near the end.
Somehow my shoes where at the front of his driveway, and the man carries out his shoes and with his he also had a pair of rugby cleats, and asks me and my brother(appeared out of no where) how many years we played, I answered one. (in reality I played 2 but now that I reflect on it I only had fun 1 of the years) and my brother answered 4. I felt "bad" since I was the one that found the sport and got my brother into it yet he had more years to show.
I woke up. Hm, I used to be a light worker and the third eye training was a big part. I dont know if that had something to do with the dream, and the car makes little to no sense. if you can that be great. thanks for reading.
Perspective
Interesting - I have found dreams to be cool support point, to be able to assess which each point represent and where one require correction so to speak from the perspective of what the dream indicate as accepted and allowed belief systems, or patterns being lived out/experienced by self. Or Even for example where one still act in dishonesty in a dream, indicating the real nature of self.
the point that came through for me while reading the dream, is the point of where one sees oneself on the "right path" but in a way this defined through how it is accepted in the system, where you are thinking about how much money you are going to make, and where your are 'recognized' by your father/higher up as "finally understanding" and the silver vehicle being a symbol of success in a way. Even how you are being "perceived by others in a different way" referring here to A green SUV drove by and the peoples impression changed of me, I couldn't tell if it was for the better or worse. But I new I was being judged differently. So what I see here is these points representing how you are now seeing/perceiving yourself in a different light so to speak.
I look at it from the perspective of simply doing what is required to be done, and at the moment money is part of this world and is required as a functional point. Here I see that to stand equal to the system that one must be able to be functional and effective within it. This to me imply that one should be effective with money generation and I am finding that for myself it is a process of giving-up my personal preference of what I would like to or want to do, and simply apply myself practically to make money. Obviously not necessary to place oneself in a compromising position but at the same time not allowing oneself to step on your own toes so to speak by not directing oneself in the system within the current rules in place where one become stable in acquiring money in this world as it is a practical point at the moment to facilitate and support ones movement, function and ability to be able to stand stable in the system.